Week 6 Predictions

You ever just look around and think, "Holy sh*t.... how am I not just crushing the world right now?" I look around the world and listen to the news and I just know that I am surely smarter than 95% of the world. 

We got people dressing up like animals and banging in bathrooms. 

We got kids that can't even make their own sentences and use AI for everything.

We got whatever the f*ck a Labubu is.

We got people who can't take out an airpod or take off their headphones when they are talking to me.

And we got nothing beating a Jet2 Holiday....

I mean surely I am not the only one thinking this. I am educated and have decent people skills - surely if I really wanted to I could become some high powered position. So why not? Really, why not?

Well, because the same reason that people like to watch trash television shows. You feel good about yourself. If I am ever feeling down, I just walk the halls take a couple looks around and then I just feel better about myself. I know that my kids will have very little competition for jobs - because hey, as long they can listen with both ears and they don't wear a monkey tail, they are better than half the competition.

You know what else I currently have no competition in? 

Matchup of the Week

BEKH (2-3) v ARBL (2-3)

This is a fantastic battle of the abbreviation names... Barely Even Know Her v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams. Let me tell you, being 3-3 looks a lot better than being 2-4.... like playoff race better. If you lose this matchup... you are looking at being left out come playoff time. Typically, you need to get 8 wins to squeak into the playoffs - dropping to 2-4 would be very detrimental.  At this point, BEKH looks like the much stronger team - Daniels (when healthy) can be effective as a fantasy QB because of his scrambling ability, Achane is a focal point for Miami's offense with Hill going down, and Egbuka (don't listen to Gronk try to say his name) is a breakout candidate for ROTY. Things are looking up for BEKH - but this week will be a big swing for the season for both of these teams.

Prediction: BEKH

Mystery Guest: BEKH... "2 bad teams... Hope somebody wins, but will probably end in a tie"

Bootay Pirates (1-4) v Nips and Salsa (5-0)

You can call it what you want, but this should be a good 'ole fashion ass kicking. Now, Bootay Pirates presents arguably one the best lineups of any 1-4 teams out there. However, there are some ESPN projections that I am very hesitant on... Rachaad White is projected for 17 points - we are aware that is more than James Cook is being projected? Calvin Ridley is being projected for nearly 12 points - he has only scored more than 10 points once this season. Justin Herbert is projected 20 points and only broke the 20 point barrier once and never in the US. Essentially, what I am saying - ESPN is a little off on what should be expected this week and the separation is much bigger than what is being projected.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... "By a smidge, big upset this week"

Project Tush Push (2-3) v The J-Bones* (3-2) 

It is wild to think that The J-Bones just casually has Jordan Love sitting on the bench to replace CJ Stroud for a bye week (honestly, I could not tell you who the real starter is). The bigger issue is going to be replacing Nico Collins. There is going to need to be some things going right for The J-Bones to get a win this week... but at the same time, things have not been going the best for Tush Push. Luckily for TP, Jeanty gets to run against Tennessee and Packers defense gets Cincy horrific offense.  Gun to my head, Tush Push presents a lot more consistency throughout the starting lineup... could be a close one.

Prediction: Project Tush Push

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "Not even close, JBones win streak ends at 3"

Ertz/Eifert (4-1) v AR's Finger* (2-3)

Baker Mayfield is probably one of the biggest surprises at QB this season... mainly because Tampa has no problem putting the ball in his hands as much as possible. Mayfield has weapons to use, especially the breakout rookie Egbuka. The receiving core in ARSB and Pickens is terrific combo and present some serious firepower. On the flip side, AR has a few boom or bust players as well. Jameson Williams is someone who has really yet to take-off - the issue is the number of mouths to feed for Detroit. However, he does present a boom week at any given time. On top of that, Javonte Williams is a huge surprise and probably the biggest surprise of the season. He is currently the number 3 running back in fantasy and is averaging 20 points a week. This will be closer that what the records show, but the edge goes to Ertz/Eifert.

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... "Not close, how is this team winning? Inquiring mind want to know"

1st Downs Syndrome (3-2) v 2AP (2-3)

When completely healthy, Downs Syndrome is a tough, tough team to beat. However, they are not fully healthy - Buck Buck is probably going to be out this week, Mike Evans is out, Ricky Pearsall is probably out if not hampered. These are 3 players that would be starters. On the flip side, Josh Allen is the best football player in the world. Chase and Waddle are extremely good at catching the ball... the issue is the offense they are in. 2AP also is one of the offenses that rock a double TE... both LaPorta and Warren are inside the top 10 and are big redzone targets. However, Drake Maye and TreVeyon Henderson match up against the New Orleans Saint defense - who on average give up 30 points a game.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 2AP... "Good Matchup, it's a squeaker but Coach gets two important victories this weekend"

Indiana Jones (1-4) v Cleveland Streamers* (2-3)

It is wild that Cleveland Streamers won the belt? Yes. Is it wild that they are heavily reliant upon 2 Minny Vikings players - the horrible Minnesota Vikings offense. And now they are on bye and we are back to a truly struggling fantasy lineup. We are looking at a lineup that has Kendre Miller and Michael Carter as the starting running backs. When it truly comes down to it, Indiana Jones looks like the much deeper and stronger lineup this week - which is good, because they really need a win. If Indiana Jones drops to 1-5, it is almost a wrap on the season.... but 2-4 is much better, not great - but much better.

Prediction: Indiana Jones

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... "Who knew Daniel Jones would be comeback player of the year. Stomps the Streamers"

Cocaine Cowboys (4-1) v Slender TDs** (2-3)

This is really the MotW if we didn't have a crucial battle between two 2-3 teams. We have one of the best teams against the top scoring team. Lineup wise this should be close, but if you look closer at the matchups - one team has a slight edge. Slender has much more forgiving matchups...

Both QB's battle each other in shootout waiting to happen, the difference - the Chiefs are much more reliant on Mahomes than the Lions on Goff.

Both RB1's have good matchups, Bijan against a porous Buffalo run defense and King Henry against a Rams defense... both should have good weeks.

RB2 is where the difference begins to really show up - Kamara against a tough New England defense and Breece against a Denver defense much more focused on stopping the pass.

WR1 is a big difference maker as well, with Puka getting a terrible Baltimore defense and DK going against one of the best defenses in the league (Cleveland).

Then you have a Mcbride (TE) against MHJ (WR), both going against Indy... the game script should equate to passing... good for both, but Zona is making a conscious effort to get MHJ the ball more often.

Look for Slender to edge this one out and get a huge division win.

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... "Big upset this weekend, easy win for Slender"

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Bootay Pirates - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 5 Results

Bush did 9/11

Paul McCartney is actually dead

Birds are government spies

Modern Art is a tax scam for the rich

Our commissioner rigged the schedule to face teams when their top players are out.

All conspiracy theories that nobody if they are true or not. I mean just think about it...

Bush did 9/11

The ides that the only reason the towers collapsed were from pre-planted explosions and cooperation from Al Qaeda.  The government needed some reason to go to war in the Middle East... guess what - we found it. This would be hard to believe with the amount of casualties that took place - but it is strange that the Pentagon was also hit in the exact area that there happens to be no one working.

McCartney is dead

A popular rumor that the Beatles leaned into... Abbey road album cover, McCartney is stepping with a different foot, no shoes and the men themselves depicted a funeral (Holy Man in the front, Grave Digger in the back, no shoed Paul is the corpse, and Ringo was the Undertaker).

Revolution 9 can be played backward and you can hear "Turn me on Dead Man" in reference to Paul McCartney. In Strawberry Fields you can hear a faint Lennon line, "I buried Paul." There are many other ties to this rumor... I am not a big Beatles fan - but one thing I know, they are great business men by doing all these hidden Easter Eggs.

Birds are spies

Just one simple question... if they are mechanical spies that need charged every so often - why do they post up on Powerlines?

Modern Art is a Scam

Have you ever looked at Modern Art? Some of it is genuinely just garbage thrown at a canvas. We got people spilling paint and calling it a million dollar piece. You know why? If you can get the piece appraised at a value and then donate it to a museum - you can deduct from your taxes. Annnnndddd the rich get richer.

Fantasy Football schedule rigged

Some are complaining that Nips and Salsa is only undefeated because he has the easiest schedule in the league. He was able to play Cocaine Cowboys without Bijan Robinson. Next week he has Bootay Pirates - still missing CeeDee Lamb. Some are arguing that the only way this team makes the playoffs is due to the scheduling. Maybe? But do you really think I would go that in depth prior to the draft and figure tendencies of managers, predict who they are going to draft and set the schedule based upon the highest probability of team make-ups to make the schedule easiest for me? Wink Wink

Matchup of the Week

Nips and Salsa (5-0) v Cocaine Cowboys (4-1)

It is never a good thing when you leave in a player that is ruled out... but luckily it didn't matter this week. Ideally, Brock Bowers is back and better than the start of the season. If he can actually be one of the top TE's than this team will be a tough out in the playoffs. On the flip side, this week is essentially a throw away week - with Bijan out of the lineup. It is only one loss and won't really kill the Cocaine momentum, still a tough team to beat in the future.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Ertz/Eifert (4-1) v Tush Push (2-3)

If you can't have the Flyin' Hawaiian, give me the Egyptian Prince! Amon Ra is a dawg and Detroit loves their dawgs. He always finds ways to get open and Goff is going to keep going to his boy. On top of that, Baker and the Tampa offense just keep throwing the ball (especially with Buck Buck out). Baker looks good and he has the weapons on the outside to support the offense. On the flip side, this was never going to be a good week for Tush Push - but the issue becomes the other losses. Now at below .500 - there might need to be some moves if they want to make a run for the playoffs... or just sit back and take it.

Prediction: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

ARBL (2-3) v 1st Downs Syndrome (3-2)

This is a huuuuggggeee win for ARBL - in the grand scheme of things 2-3 looks and feels a lot better than 1-4, like a lot better. The thing is they did it without any true super week, they just had pretty consistent number throughout - something that help them get a few wins, but without a true star, or a QB that can be trusted - will it be enough? T-Law had 26 points.... and it took 2 rushing TDs to get there. There might be a move in the future, now that this team knows they are fully in the race. On the flip side, it is tough to see your team score half their points on a TNF with 2 players. Losing Buck Buck and Mike Evans is never going to help the lineup, what do you do? You throw nearly your optimized lineup and still barely break 100 points, no bueno.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... WRONG!!

BEKH (2-3) v Indiana Jones (1-4) 

It is never a good thing when your fantasy QB is pulled in the game because they are winning by too much. Good thing it didn't really matter... BEKH had a field day with Egbuka and Ferguson - both scored over 20 points. BEKH has a decent lineup, but they are sitting at 2-3 and need to rack up wins in a hurry to stay in the fight for a playoff spot. Some teams are in the position to make moves or try and ride out the bye weeks... but the issue becomes that if you decide to ride out the bye weeks, you better have backups to keep competitive.

Prediction: BEKH... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: BEKH.... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones* (3-2) v Bootay Pirates (1-4)

Bring back the days when the Mystery Guest voted for the themselves every time - nobody likes a realist. Neither here nor there, Taylor is arguably the top RB fantasy and in the NFL - the man had 3 touchdowns and didn't even play in the 4th quarter. The J-Bones also go to see a nice Stroud/Nico touchdown combo and these two have started to heat-up - also they took advantage of a battered Baltimore team. Houston essentially walked in the bathroom after two guys fought and they just starting kicking the guy knocked out on the ground.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

2AP (2-3) v AR's Finger (2-3)

Talk about a team struggling with RB's... it duzzint matta! The WR's combined for 52 points and the TE's scored 34.6 points... giving them a grand total of 86.2 points for the pass catchers. Now will that happen on a regular basis? Probably not, but this was a big week to have it happen (especially playing Chubba Hubbard). On the flip side, AR was not able to make the magic happen like the true Anthony Richardson did, when he was put in during the RC Cola time of the game. 

To be fair, this week was always going to be a down week for them - no Swift and just traded for a TE on the bye. We will see what happens once they reach their full potential - what will the final lineup look like.

Prediction: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

*Both of these picks were pre-trade

Cleveland Streamers* (2-3) v Slender TDs** (2-3)

There is nothing worse than scoring the 2nd highest point total and still getting handed a loss. Honestly, not a lot to say about either team - Slender's team looks good, they just ran into the hype-up week of the Cleveland Streamers. There is no way that you can sit D. Henry, is there? On the flip side, Streamers are going to be asking if Jefferson can just stay and play every week across the pond. The make shift RB department worked this week and the consistency throughout the lineup helped the Streamers not only win - but also lock up the belt for a week!

Prediction: Slender TD's... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... WRONG!!

With Love

Commish

Season Prediction: 23-12

Mystery Guest: 16-19

 

Week 5 Predictions

Alright, it is time to stir things up.... let's take a look at the rumor mill...

"Ehhhhh.... did you hear about this one?"

ARBL is looking to switch up the entire lineup. 

After witnessing a gruesome injury happen Tyreek and Lamar now dealing with a hamstring issue - ARBL is left searching for answers. All teams across the league are welcome to send trade offers and ARBL will be entertaining/countering offers throughout the next week.

Cleveland Streamers is looking clear-up RB issues.

Who isn't, amirite? The difference is, Streamers has some household names that could offer in return: Jefferson, McConkey, and who doesn't know Tetairoa? If you need a serious threat at the WR position and are willing to offer up a decent RB in return - Streamers is open for business.

The Double TE lineup will be more than just an experiment for the Cocaine Cowboys.

Yes, Cocaine has 2 good TE's - you would think that they might want to trade one and improve upon another position. However, keeping both and playing both keeps the lineup flexible throughout the bye weeks and allows Cocaine to continue to produce a lineup that could be successful in the long run.

AR Finger has a plethora of average to good RB's and they have a hole at WR (a Malik Nabers size hole).

Somebody needs to fill AR's hole. You fill it with a white guy or black guy - AR is open to either option. They men they can offer in return for any hole you might have... as long his hole gets filled. 

Slender TD's might be the most completed 2-2 team in league.

This not really a rumor... just merely a statement. Don't both sending them trades - they don't need you sh*tty player.

Nips and Salsa is 4-0, sitting atop the mountain, and still looking to experiment with their lineup - send offers and we can counter back and forth until we get something we both like.

Not really a whole lot to add to that "rumor" other than the that I know it is not a rumor - it is actually true. I have a guy on the inside of the front office letting me know.

Do what you will with all of this information - as Sir Francis Bacon once said, "Knowledge is Power." And my good friend Uncle Ben said, "With great Power, comes great Responsibility." Combine those two iconic men and you get... Sir Uncle Francis Ben Bacon once said, "With Knowledge you get great Power, so don't EFF it up!"

Matchup of the Week

Cocaine Cowboys (4-0) v Nips and Salsa (4-0)

I feel bad that in this all important blog, that our millions of readers await impatiently every week, these two teams continually find themselves in the Matchup of the Week. However, you can't pass up a 4-0 team matching up against a 4-0 team. It would be far cooler if Bijan was not on bye week and we could see the full onslaught of the Cocaine Consumers, however it seems they will be saving a little something for what could possibly be a later encounter (playoffs). Look for Gibbs and Company to make a statement win and sit atop the mountain by themselves.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Beats a high powered offense, even with his TE on bye"

Ertz/Eifert (3-1) v Project Tush Push (2-2)

You know what is crazy about this week? This is supposed to be Tush Push's big bye week - they currently have 6 players on bye week, and I still think they are going to win. To be fair - ESPN projects Skattebo to have 17 points, which could happen with the Giants playing the Saints. However, I would take the under on that total and probably most projected totals for next few weeks. Skattebo is fun to watch, don't get me wrong - holdin' it down for the white RB.... but I just trust anyone on the NY Giants offense at this point. On the flip side, Ertz now has to see how much his team has after taking the first loss of the season? How will the respond? Does he need to bench a few starters? Have one-on-one meetings? Where do they go from here?

Prediction: Project Tush Push

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "They are becoming a contender, this one is close - but they pull it out"

ARBL (1-3) v 1st Downs Syndrome (3-1)

A match of teams dealing with similar issues: injured QB, and top tier WR that isn't playing (Hill will be indefinitely and Evans will return sooner rather than later). The big difference? Downs Syndrome's supporting cast, led by CMC and Bucky Irving. There is no real urgency for Downs Syndrome. However, ARBL needs to something and quick. If they don't, they will find themselves on the opposite end of the playoff race in a hurry. What is a hurry? Probably faster than they are willing, but it is time to go shopping.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Easiest win the season for Downs, especially with Lamar out"

BEKH (1-3) v Indiana Jones (1-3)

You know what you don't want when your team is struggling? To have a winnable matchup and your best player be on the bye. This is going to leave Indiana Jones grasping at straws, this is a matchup they need to win and without Josh Jacobs, or any decent replacement, I am not sure that can happen. On the flip side, what does BEKH do at 1-3? Do they try and ride it out and trust the process... time is ticking on that plan. Or do they make a switch-up and see if they gather some mojo? The issue then becomes if they switch it up, do they wait until after this week and trust what they have to beat another struggling team? Either way, I think that BEKH has the upper hand in this one, unless Indiana Jones something to try and produce a lineup that can win this week.

Prediction: BEKH

Mystery Guest: BEKH... "Battle of 2 bad teams, somebody has to win"

The J-Bones* (2-2) v Bootay Pirates (1-3)

Everybody has their guilty pleasures, for some it is listening to white girl music in the shower. For others it is preferring redheads over blondes. For me? It is a fantasy lineup with 3 starting RB's... something about it just looks appetizing. For that reason and that reason alone I am picking The J-Bones.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... "Bootay is not ready to compete until CeeDee comes back"

2AP (1-3) v AR's Finger* (2-2)

This is an interesting matchup with so many different intertwining stories between the two teams...

Chase v Higgins: Who cares if Browning can't throw the ball?

Warren v Bowers: In real life and in fantasy... the battle for the top TE

Waddle is the new number 1 option in Miami and Benson the top dawg in Zona... who's backup is better?

Quinshon v Javonte: Who has the blacker name?

Just a few ideas for some tag lines for this matchup.

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... "No statue being built in the fantasy realm, just stick to the real thing coach"

Cleveland Streamers (1-3) v Slender TD's** (2-2)

Although these teams are only 1 game apart by record... they are over 30 points a week different. Yes, that says "A WEEK." Slender TD's is the top point scorer in the league and for good reason... Puka is the best WR in the league. Mahomes is a top 3 QB. They have 3 starting RB's on their roster, the bigger question - how is this team 2-2? It just doesn't make sense. It makes more sense that they have won the belt twice. These next few weeks are pivotal weeks for teams to jockey for position for a playoff push... let's see how this plays out!

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... "After starting 1-0, Cleveland has lost 3 straight - classic. Slender by a mile"

As always, I wish everyone good luck, except for you Cocaine Cowboys - may your entire roster be forced into a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 4 Results

Larry Bird

Muhammed Ali

Colin McGregor

Rasheed Wallace

Robert Vanderkolk

The top 5 all-time when it comes to sh*t talking. What makes some one so good at it? For some, it is the sheer confidence that they are going to take care of business. For others, it is delusional confidence. Either way, when you truly believe the nonsense that is about to come out of your mouth - you can say anything you want. 

Yes, this is getting written during the SNF game and my phone is blowing up from two fans running their mouth back and forth - annoying? Yes. Respectable? Sure. However, it is much easier to talk trash from the top of the mountain.

Those teams that can talk trash in our league? Cocaine Cowboys. Yes, they have never won the belt - but they just put a beatdown in the Match of the Week. Don't worry, I am not going to sit here and "glaze" this team - there just happens to be another team on top of the mountain. One team, that many doubted - many questioned... "How is this the top team on the D.D.A?" 

Welcome to the f*cking show. You want to run your mouth? Come and get us. Yes, I have never won this league (and most likely won't win this year)... but for now I sit atop the mountain with Cocaine Cowboys and I await the next challenger. Why bring this up now? Why bring this up when Nips barely broke 100 points?

Because the team that everyone argued with my about who should be number 1, happen to be the team that now sits 1-3 and failed to do what no one has done yet. Truthfully, if you want to get into the top of the D.D.A. - you gotta do 2 things...

A) Come to draft

B) Stay for the rankings

You don't like it? You can leave.

For now, this is a mountain top made for 2... everyone else can eat a bag of d*cks.

Matchup of the Week

Cocaine Cowboys (4-0) v Ertz/Eifert (3-1)

It doesn't hurt when you have the best RB on your team... Bijan Mustard. It also doesn't hurt when your defense scores 20, sure it was against the Browns - but Detroit looks like a true Super Bowl contender with that defense and that is a good thing for Cocaine Cowboys. CC is a team that looks primed for the long run... think about this, they just scored 133 points and that is with a double TE set. On the flip side, Ertz/Eifert was labeled as a team that was a "Pretender" - looks like they lived up to that label. They have pieces to make moves... but the question remains - Do they feel the need to make a move?

Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Nips and Salsa (4-0) v ARBL (1-3)

You hate to see it, you really hate to see it. ARBL not only loses this week, but Tyreek has a nasty knee injury (on top of Lamar Jackson leaving his game early this week with a hamstring issue). If you missed it...

Obviously, this sucks for Tyreek and the Dolphins - but now there are some big holes in the ARBL lineup. Do they make a trade to stay relevant in the league or do they dissipate into oblivion?

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: ARBL... WRONG!!

Indiana Jones (1-3) v Downs Syndrome (3-1)

Some teams just have all the luck.... Downs Syndrome has Daniels and Evans not play this week and Drake Maye comes in and scores the 2nd highest point total in the entire matchup. I mean, sureeeeeee the bottom half of the lineup looks a little shaky - but hey when you can get nearly 75 points from just 3 guys.... you are sitting pretty. On the flip side, Indiana Jones needs to do something... they need wins and they need them in a hurry. They have pieces to move and bring in more depth and consistency... but is that something they are looking to do?

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Bootay Pirates (1-3) v Project Tush Push (2-2)

Hey, look who finally showed up to the NFL - it's Ashton Jeanty! Jeanty finally had his breakout game of the season... albeit still a lose for the Raiders - but Tush Push doesn't care! If the Packers defense doesn't give up 40 points and score -5 points, Tush Push would have broken 130 points this week! On the flip side, Bootay is going to struggle without CeeDee in the lineup - creating a domino effect of having to move players around and constantly filling holes that are never appropriately filled. One team looks good for the future.... one team looks lost... I will let you decide which one is which!

Prediction: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!

Slender TD's** (2-2) v BEKH (1-3)

You hate to say it, but we gave seen this before from TD's in fantasy. In 2023, they won the belt once and lead the league in scoring through the first 4 weeks. On the plus side, during that year they were able to finish 9-5 and they were able to make the playoffs. Who was on that team? Puka. Who is on this team? Puka. Who is the best WR in football right now? Puka. On the flip side, BEKH had a good week - but it just wasn't enough. They have no real answer for Burrow's injury and this is now a representation of their team - most position scoring well and the QB and kicker dragging them down.

Prediction: Slender TD's.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... RIGHT!!

2AP (1-3) v The J-Bones* (2-2)

What do you do if you are holding the number pick in fantasy football, he isn't injured, he is getting plenty of playing time - but he isn't scoring due to the ineffectiveness of Bengals offense without Joe Burrow? Do you trade him? Do you hold on to him? The Bengals are a bottom 5 team without Joe Burrow, but 2AP could be a team that could make a run for the playoffs - if they handle the Chase situation correctly. On the flip side, The J-Bones are quickly making a believer out of me. Will they get that type of production out of Hampton every week? Probably not - to be fair though, this happened in a game script that was not specific to running the ball. Knock on wood... The J-Bones might be the only team with 3 legitimate RB's.

Prediction: The J-Bones.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Cleveland Streamers (1-3) v AR Finger* (2-2)

Welllll.... it is hard to say it, but Streamers had the highest scoring QB and the highest scoring WR and still found a way to lose. What does that tell you? Everyone else sucked. More than half the points were scored by 2 players... even worse - three players didn't break 5 points and one those players is a long-necked Chargers receiver who suppose to have a big year. What do you do? On the flip side, AR won - but they are going to have to decide who to start? Gainwell scored 30+ points this week, but is that him blowing his load or is that him proving he is worthy of starting?

Prediction: AR Finger... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... WRONG!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 20-8

Mystery Guest: 13-15

Week 4 Predictions

The other day I felt like I needed some time on my royal throne - Dump Time Mafia. Turns out, I was actually Ghost Pooped. We all know what that is, if not you are lying.... feel like you gotta drop some Bombs over Bahgdad, but you are just throwing out air puffs. Sometimes I really love the Ghost poops... but then I end sitting there just chilling on my throne playing some game and I think to myself, "What are you doing?"

Even though that happened, there are times when I go to my throne and I build a motha f*ckin' bridge. We have all had those... you lay that log down and it stretches across drain hole... all those little people can cross the hole and get to the other size. Sometimes when I am building a bridge I get impressed with myself. We have our own preferences, but for me that is an exit only and I get a little proud when I drop a bridge and think, "Yup, that is for real. Stand back d*cks... the location ain't for you."

Then you get those "boom boom" times when you know there is more, but it just ain't happening right know. You know you can fire away - but you just have sucked all the nutrients yet. It is not time... these Nutrient Suckers still have work to do. They are nice, but they are slight reminders that there is still some unfinished business.

Moving on from that, at one point in my life I prided myself on my ability to eat and drink and just go into that mindset of Dark Places - making myself deal with whatever pain is happening. Between eating 75 chicken nuggets (still room in the tank) to prove a point and the completing the gallon challenge - I find ways to force it down. At one point, a senior decided to challenge me in eating chicken nuggets - long story short, I end up with 500 chicken nuggets and about 9 other guys in my house. We sat down and said, "Go" and you ate until you had to stop. A certain senior was eating way to fast and there was no way he was going to keep that pace... let's just say my kids now know him as "The One who threw up."

Now... I didn't just come in here and talk about BM's to throw you off (or did I?)... but currently, we are 3 weeks into the season and it is time find out where we really fit in this league...

Bridge Builders (Real Deals)

Nips and Salsa (3-0)

Cocaine Cowboys (3-0)

1st Downs Sysndrome (2-1)

It is early, but these 4 teams are currently showing that they have the firepower to continue finding their way to the Promise Land (the playoffs). Of these teams, 2 of them are undefeated - one team has lost to one of the undefeated team. Cocaine Cowboys find themselves undefeated and the lineup has been untouched in terms of the injury bug. Nips and Salsa has one question mark at QB, but there are currently 4 QB's in the lineup - with 3 viable options and 1 long-term play. 

Ghost Poopers (Pretenders)

Bootay Pirates (1-2)

2 A.P. (1-2)

Ertz/Eifert (3-0)

The Bootay Pirates. It is wild to throw them in this group and they have a losing record... but they lead the league in scoring - and they are one CeeDee Lamb injury away from being 2-1 and feeling much better about their situation. With that being said, Croskey-Merritt's stock should have gone up due to an injury (Ekeler), but he does not have a stronghold on the job as of right now - being out touched by McNichols. With his role unstable and CeeDee going down - this team find's themselves in the Ghost Poop range until their question marks are answered. Some may ask, "Why is Ertz/Eifert a pretender?" The lineup has depth... but they are placed in a pretender status because of the results up to this point. There lineup improved with CeeDee's injury - but when he returns, Pickens value drops.

Nutrient Suckers (Still more left in the tank)

The J-Bones (1-2)

ARBL (1-2)

Project Tush Push (1-2)

Slender TD's (1-2)

These teams have the lineups that could produce a slew of wins and have found themselves in slew of 1-2 teams... but maybe they should be a little higher. ARBL and The J-Bones are teams that really stand out... obviously, J-Bones had the big week. But also, one of their losses comes against an undefeated team and with arguably the best RB in fantasy right now, who wouldn't say there isn't more left in the tank. ARBL is another team where one of their losses comes when they scored the 3rd highest point total. There is still something holding them back... if they find that out - they are in line for a big jump in the league.

Vomit Volcano (Just Plain struggling)

Barely Even Know Her (1-2)

AR Finger (1-2)

Cleveland Streamer (1-2)

Indiana Jones (1-2)

These teams are currently struggling and luckily there is 10 of the 14 teams tied at 1-2. As of right now, there is no real harm in being in this position - since we are forgiving league and so many make the playoffs (over half the league). You have time to switch something up, make a trade, make a big pickup - or a team name change. Either way... you are here for a reason and something definitely needs to change. The one team that will be noted, A.R. Finger is down here even with winning the belt once so far - but the other weeks, they failed to break 100 points. 

Matchup of the Week

Cocaine Cowboys (3-0) v Ertz/Eifert (3-0)

What a matchup in a battle for the top of the They/Them/Zed division!! Eff the normalcy, I am just writing about this headliner... From top to bottom this should be close, but there are a few intertwined teams in this battle. We have Goff and the Lions defense on one side and ARSB and Montgomery on the other side. Yes, there is the idea that ARSB is relying on Goff to throw the ball which cross-mingles... but the other side is the actual football side which involves the Detroit playing against Cleveland - and they're not bad on the defensive side of the ball. It is not often that you see a double TE fantasy lineup... but when your TE's are Hunter Henry and Trey McBride... you do your thang and throw 'em both out there!

Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys

Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys.... wins by a smidge, but we can all hope he loses right?

Nips and Salsa (3-0) v ARBL (1-2)

Well, instantly you look at what Lamar Jackson has done and think, "He is good at fantasy football." To think that he was sacked 5 times last week and he still scored 27 points and this week should be another shootout - hopefully this time he can actually use Zay Flowers. On the flip side, Gibbs needs to have a big week and so does JSN. Thankfully, Geno has shown that JSN will continually be getting fed - seeing an average of 10 targets a game.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: ARBL... wins by a nose - can you really depend on Tua?

Indiana Jones (1-2) v 1st Downs Syndrome (2-1)

I mean, truthfully this is just an pretty unfair matchup. Downs Syndrome is just flat-out a better team... possibly top to bottom. I really don't think there is anything that Indiana Jones can do to get this victory?

Is that enough bulletin board material for the squad, Indiana Jones?

A lot of that down talk seems eerily similar to the move the Indianapolis Colts made bringing in Daniel Jones and look at them now? If not this squad pulling off the upset against Downs Syndrome, who?

Yeah... I am still picking 1st Downs Syndrome.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... big win; somebody needs to stick to tennis.

Bootay Pirates (1-2) v Project Tush Push (1-2)

It is wild to look at Tush Push's team and think, "How they are 1-2?" Hence, why they are in the Nutrient Suckers category. They have 5 positions in the starting lineup that are in the top 10 of the positional rankings. Yet, they not only are 1-2... they are also in the bottom 3 point scorers in the league. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the lack of firepower after Hurts. On the flip side, Bootay Pirates are Ghost Poops... just a bunch of pretenders. You are going to see it this week, when CeeDee doesn't play - you will see how fragile the ecosystem really is.

Prediction: Project Tush Push

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... Bootay has fallen on hard times.

Slender TD's* (1-2) v BEKH (1-2)

Remember when we talked about Depth vs. Firepower? Slender TD's has boffff of 'em. This is a team that should not be 1-2 and will definitely see their way out of the hole. MHJ will eventually wake-up (maybe), but even if he doesn't - the Flyin' Hawaiian will pick up the slack. On the flip side, something needs to change. Unfortunately, I am not sure how much checking of the fantasy team is happening by this manager - all we want is a little effort... am I right Putting Commish?

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... a match between 2 bad teams, who really cares?

2AP (1-2) v The J-Bones* (1-2)

Josh Allen is arguably the best football player in the NFL. Truthfully, he can win a lot of games on his own - but he can't win fantasy football on his own. That is what we are looking at here... Josh Allen is better at QB and then after that, give me The J-Bones. Could this be the turn around point for The J-Bones? Could they take this past week as a launching pad and they just keep the belt all season (most likely not, but who knows). Belt or no belt... this week does not look good for 2AP.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... football coach better rally his troops if hopes to do something that year... no statue building when it comes to Fantasy.

Cleveland Streamers (1-2) v AR Finger* (1-2)

There might not be another manager that dislikes their team more than Cleveland Streamers. AR Finger is going to hope for a week that is more like week 2 and less like weeks 1 and 3. I am intrigued to see what happens with Nabers with Dart starting at QB - not sure how high I am on this working... but hey we have been surprised before. Javonte Williams has been the pleasant surprise for AR's Finger - he could be the X-Factor for this week and the remaining weeks.

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... Corum comes through this week. How does an OSU fan draft a Michigan player, just doesn't seem right.

It has also dawned on me that I have been slacking with my sign-off... let me correct that ship and officially state....

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you, ARBL - may your entire team be forced into a never ending loop of teaching a blind child how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 3 Results

Annnnnddddd now it looks like the injuries are starting to pile up. Every year there is a 2 to 3 week stretch that starts to just annihilate teams for fantasy football. Between last week and this week, we are in the midst of that span...

James Conner - Done for the Season

Ceedee Lamb - 2-4 weeks... maybe more, nagging pain throughout play

Mike Evans - 2-3 weeks

Terry McLaurin - did not return to game, questionable for next week

Chris Godwin - possible return during week 4... playing through pain

Colston Loveland - did not return to game, questionable for next week

Jauan Jennings - did not play this week... still questionable for next week

Brock Purdy - return possible during week 4, questionable

Isaiah Likely - possible week 4 return, out since last season

Najee Harris - done for life

Tyrone Tracy Jr. - 2-4 weeks... could lose starting job

Joe Burrow - 3 months... IR

Tua Tagovailoa - Not injured... but probably still has CTE

There is probably more on the list that I am missing, but just think about that. There is at least 1 first round pick, 3 - 3rd round picks, 1 - 4 round pick, 1 6th round pick, 4 - 7th round picks - you could essentially create your own fantasy team out of these picks - and have a fairly good team at that.

If you want to be good at fantasy, you need some luck in avoiding this list or have enough depth to battle through it. It is a tricky thing, because you need depth to get through bye weeks - but you also need star power for when you make the playoffs.

It is like when you are out on the prowl, you see a nice blonde from across the room. What do you want? A nice rack and pretty face (starpower)? Or do you want some wild positions and lots of different "happenings" (depth)?

Personally, I am a let's switch it up kind of guy... big depth guy over here. Now, every so often you find the unicorn in the wild.... both starpower and depth, and then you wife that b*tch up and hope she doesn't go crazy in 5 years!

Matchup of the Week

Cocaine Cowboys (3-0) v A.R. Finger (1-2)

The "Key Matchup" was pretty underwhelming, and the MotW was a little underwhelming. AR went from owning the belt to scoring the fewest points the next week. Looks like someone needs to ship that thing to the Middle School (if you just bring it to me, I can get it to him). It is not going to be a good recipe for success when none of your players score over 15 points. On the flip side, Devonta Smith - the Philly number 1 receiver - breached the 20 point barrier.

There are officially 3 teams undefeated left and Cocaine Cowboys remains on that list.

Prediction:  Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: AR Finger... WRONG!!

1st Downs Syndrome (2-1) v Nips and Salsa (3-0)

This was the true MotW... 2 undefeated teams and two high scoring teams. Only one team scored more points than these two teams... which sucks that one of them has to lose. Remember reading the write-up for the Matchup of the Week and me stating that AR went from winning the belt to having none of his players break 15 points? 1st Downs Syndrome had everyone but one position break 10 points, and they lost?!?! Nips and Salsa is going to live and die by big weeks - this week Gibbs had a big week, scoring 26 points. If this team can find a decent WR2 - they could make a deep run in the playoffs... something this manager is not familiar with.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... WRONG!!

BEKH (1-2) v Bootay Pirates (1-2)

There is just nothing to say here... other than the fact that if CeeDee doesn't get hurt on the first play... Bootay Pirates wins this matchup. Nonetheless, BEKH gets the win - Bootay has to replace CeeDee for 2-4 weeks, and hope that he comes back with any ability to play football at a high level. It not likely that Bootay moves on from CeeDee... but what do you do when your top pick is out for 4 weeks and you need wins? On the flip side, BEKH gets their first win and most of it is thanks to Geno Smith and his big week, throwing for nearly 300 yards and 3 touchdowns. Jake Ferguson also was the big benefactor of CeeDee getting hurt and all of that twists up into BEKH getting their first win.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!! 

Indiana Jones (1-2) v Slender TD's* (1-2)

Name switch... check

Team Logo switch... check

First win... check

It was narrow and it was close, but Indiana Jones gets their first win over Slender TD's. The issue is going to be what comes next with James Conner now dealing with his injury. It does not look good for the future... but they got their win this week. On the flip side, Slender has to be asking themselves, "How did this happen?" Well, King Henry fumbled the ball for the 3rd time in 3 weeks - Butker missed a field goal and an extra point - MHJ dropped a wide open 40-yard bomb - Bengals defense scored less than zero points against a back-up QB and back-up RB - and Patrick Mahomes had to settle for for passing touchdown and less than 230 passing yards. A slew of mishaps to equate to a wild loss this week. The big question for Slender - do you move on from MHJ, and if so - what can you get for him?

Prediction: Slender TD's... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... WRONG!!

Project Tush Push (1-2) v 2AP (1-2)

Yet again, another narrow matchup that comes down to the MNF game. Let's start with 2AP... boy is Chase going to miss having Burrow at QB. Chase saw 6 targets, a mere 10 targets less than last week. It is funny, Judkins returns for the Browns - this team looks complete and then Burrow goes down and leave Chase looking like a fringe WR2. For Tush Push, the team's namesake had a huge week. Hurts equated for 4 touchdowns (3 passing/1 rushing) and Eagles won in a crazy blocked field goal. There are certain teams that just look really good on offense - Philly falls in that category. After that, it is looking rough - to be fair; Kraft got hurt mid-week, Jeanty has yet to have a breakout performance, Drake London has a combo of Penix and Captain Kirk throwing him the ball... I foresee some possible trades in the future.

Prediction: Project Tush Push.. RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push.. RIGHT!!

Ertz/Eifert (3-0) v Cleveland Streamers (1-2)

Let's just get this out of the way, Streamers is struggling to get some things going. Part of it is the Minnesota offense as a whole is a mess right now with not be able to get Jefferson the ball and part of it is the lack at the RB position. It is going to take big weeks from one or two players for them to have a chance at a win. On the flip side, Ertz remains one of the 3 undefeated teams, although they fall in the bottom half of points scored in the league - they are still beating whoever they face. It is hard to say that something needs to change for a 3-0 team - but in all reality, they could use help at the RB position. Now might be a time to try and move someone like Pickens (who could see an uptick in targets with Lamb being out for some time).

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!

ARBL (1-2) v The J-Bones* (1-2)

Well, well, well - looks like someone was fed up with losing and decided to take down the belt this week! The J-Bones had a huuuuuge week and it all started during the 1:00 slate of games. Minnesota and Johnathan Taylor combined for over 64 points - yes, that is right... a defense scored 32 points. It helps when that same defense scores more touchdowns than 95% of the league. Taylor is looking like the best RB in the league right now and if The J-Bones can keep this going it could get even crazier. To think that The J-Bones were less than 10 points off the top 5 weeks in the record books and that is with Jordan Love barely breaking 10 points, is wild to think about - have we seen the ceiling or could it go higher?

Prediction: ARBL... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: ARBL... WRONG!!

With Love,

Commish

Season Predictions: 13-8

Mystery Guest: 8-13

Not looking good for the Mystery Guest... I hope he knows there are drinks on the line with this season long bet?!?!? 

Week 3 Predicktions

With every good thing, there is always one flaw or one issue. Think about it... our high school football team is 3-0... but, I guarantee you there are some issues. Maybe we can't stop the pass? Maybe our offensive line is spotty... but we are good enough to cover it up and "get away" with it. 

This concept is true with everything, especially fantasy football. Take your team for example, what could you improve? Well, let's look at each team and see what they might be on the market for...

Cocaine Cowboys 

          Need: Reliable WR2, Depth at RB

          Trade Pieces: Trey McBride/Joe Mixon.... McBride represents a top notch TE... which means he may not be willing to part with him, unless getting something big in return. Joe Mixon is a long term play and if he was going to be moved, someone is going to have to take a risk on holding him for post-season run (Cocaine's most likely plan is to hold on to him for his own run).

2 A.P.

          Need: RB, Reliable FLEX option

          Trade Pieces: Sam Laporta/Tyler Warren... Currently rocking a double TE fantasy lineup, there could be some options for flipping one into a stash RB or something that could be used at the FLEX position.

A.R.'s Finger

          Need: One of the more complete teams.... Reliable RB2??

          Trade Pieces: Any of the RB's... Jaylen Warren is the most interesting prospect. Warren is not the most efficient runner, but he is fantastic out of the backfield. In today's game, catching the ball is almost more important - and Rodgers loves to dump it off when it is there.

BEKH

          Need: QB, RB2

          Trade Pieces: WR's... There is a lot of WR's depth on this team - BTJ (yet, to really get things going)/Jakobi Meyers/Emeka Egbuka/Jerry Jeudy/Quentin Johnston - all 5 of these guys are projected to score more than 12 points... Hey BEKH, you can't play 5 receivers! 

1st Downs Syndrome

          Need: TE, trustworthy FLEX

          Trade Pieces: Tough team to find pieces to trade... truthfully, not a lot of depth. Possibly Drake Maye and then rock the waiver wire for Daniels bye week... but it might take a good offer to get Maye from this SPED team.

J-Bones

          Need: RB depth/FLEX option

          Trade Pieces: Nico Collins... There is depth at WR on this team - 5 WR's projected for over 10 points, and another at 9.5. You can't play them all and other than Nico Collins - who has struggled - none of them really hold big trade value.

ARBL

          Need: FLEX, RB2

          Trade Pieces: Rhamondre Stevenson... He just had a big day, now might be the time to flip him for something more reliable at FLEX. He could eventually lose his bell cow status with Treyveon Henderson also in NE backfield... might need to strike while the iron's hot. Also, maybe throw him in the lineup and consider dealing Pollard - who has yet to break the 10 point barrier.

Indiana Jones

          Need: FLEX.... how is this team 0-2?

          Trade Pieces: Josh Jacobs... not the answer this team wanted to hear - but in order to bring in firepower, you have to lose some firepower. There is not a lot of depth on this team and the bye weeks are going to hurt... in order to even make the playoffs, this team is going to need to switch some things up and try and gather some depth.

Cleveland Streamers

          Need: RB2, WR (wild to say, but the debacle in Minnesota is killing Jefferson)

          Trade Pieces: WR.... I know this is weird to say, when I also said it was need - buuuuuttttt, Jefferson still has the big name/big play status and things might change with the new QB. After that, Moore/Tetairo/Ladd all represent decent play or decent names - but one has to sit, could try to flip for a better RB2.

Ertz/Eifert

          Need: Firepower outside of ARSB

          Trade Pieces: Jordan Addison... Depth is an issue at this moment, but with Jordan Addison coming back - he represents an interesting trade prospect. There are 2 options, hold on to him and see if he can help the air attack issues in Minny or trade him away just before he comes back and allow the intrigue to bring bigger value.

Bootay Pirates

          Need: RB2, reliable depth

          Trade Pieces: Travis Kelce... Still a big name in the football realm and you have Zach Ertz as a backup (who has outperformed Kelce). Kelce could bring in a reliable RB2, this team looks like a playoff team and just needs to continue to look to add firepower for a future run.

Tush Push

          Need: RB2, Firepower

          Trade Pieces: Jalen Hurts... nobody likes trading their top QB... but if you want to add firepower or get a legit RB2 then you can trade away a piece that you have a decent backup (A Rodgers). The issue would be trading away the player that team's namesake is for.

Slender TD's

          Need: WR2, FLEX options

          Trade Pieces: Breece Hall... assuming that Derrick Henry is not getting traded - Breece Hall brings tremendous trade value at this point in the season. He could help bring in a legitimate WR and give this team some movable pieces for the lineups.

Nips and Salsa

          Need: QB, RB depth

          Trade Pieces: Jameson Willaims/Courtland Sutton/Cooper Kupp... both represent great value at WR2 and could even solidify some lineups for a future run... come and get them boys!

Now, the interesting thing with making a trade - obviously, you are making a trade thinking that you are getting the better end of the deal. However, they also have to think that they are getting a good deal - which may require you get rid of some of your better pieces. You will seldom find a trade partner that works perfectly with everything you want - be prepared to give a piece to get a piece.

Matchup of the Week

Cocaine Cowboys (2-0) v *A.R.'s Finger (1-1)

Key Matchup: Bijan Robinson v Javonte Williams... What a surprise J-Will has been for the Cowboys and for Mr. Finger. Truthfully, that is what it takes - one good surprise pick and all of the sudden your team is in the money. There are only 2 RB's ranked higher than Javonte and neither of them sound like a mustard. However, would anyone really trade Bijan for Javonte? I know I wouldn't... nonetheless... Williams has made this week3 matchup an interesting one!

Cocaine X-Factor: Devonta Smith... some might say the Eagles number 1 receiver? Smith has the potential for big plays and stretching the field, we just haven't seen it yet. This week does present a nice opening with a weaker LAR secondary and some possibility for some downfield shots. The script needs to be in favor of Philly throwing the ball and if so - look for shots down field.

Finger X-Factor: Russell Wilson... hear me out, Wilson does not play for this fantasy team - but Malik Nabers does. If Nabers is going to have a good week - then Nabers is going to have a good week. Wilson is known as a gunslinger these days and Nabers is a fantastic pass catcher. KC's defense has not been stellar - but they do have a decent pass rush... these two need to hook up a few times and it could create a good week for Nabers.

Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys

Mystery Guest: A.R.'s Finger... "Cocaine Cowboys? Drugs don't pay."

1st Downs Syndrome (2-0) v Nips and Salsa (2-0)

First off, this is the only 2-0 matchup and should probably be the Matchup of the Week - but I didn't want to put my own team in the MotW for 3 straight weeks...

Key Matchup: Rome Odunze v Jameson Williams... These two represent big weeks and little weeks. The plus for Rome... they have a much easier matchup in terms of defensive opponents. The plus for Jameson, he should see 1-1 coverage a lot and most likely will not matchup against Baltimore's top secondary. These two could score 30 points and they could score 10 points, whichever one decides to have a big week could be the deciding factor for the matchup.

Downs X-Factor: Ricky Pearsall... I have been giving this guy grief in the early season about Ricky, but truthfully things could not be looking better for Ricky. Except the fact that Mac Jones and not Brock Purdy will be throwing the ball. Pearsall does present himself as one of the top receivers for San Fran right now and Mac Jones is truly not that bad of a backup. Look for Pearsall to get 7/8 targets and turn that into more than 10 points.

Nips X-Factor: Kyren Williams... Philly is a good defensive teams, but they have given up a nearly 250 rushing yards in 2 games. This does present some opportunity for the Star Wars hero to have a good week. Kyren can be a focal point for the LAR offense (behind Puka), and should be the bell cow rusher. Nips needs a decent showing from Kyren to stay undefeated.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Making a statement at 3-0 after this matchup"

BEKH (1-1) v Bootay Pirates (1-1)

Key Matchup: De'Von Achane v James Cook... Achane has been healthy thus far, but the Miami offense looks lost with Tua still looking like he is knocked out every game. Luckily, Achane has been the benefactor of Tua unable to throw the ball downfield. Cook is currently the number 1 RB and is the game goes the way it should - he should see plenty of touches. These two play each other and the Bills are heavily favor... look for a game script in favor of Cook late in the 2nd half.

BEKH X-Factor: Brian Thomas Jr... we are still waiting for the BTJ explosion. Last season, BTJ scored 20+ points in the last 4 games of the season. BTJ has yet to break 10 points this season and is currently questionable... but that doesn't mean this isn't the week that he shows up. Let's be honest, there aren't many players that can be reliable pass catchers for Jax - he is going to keep getting targets.

Bootay X-Factor: Jacory Croskey-Merritt... there is a reason why Washington traded Brian Robinson Jr. However, JCM did not show it last week. This rookie has the potential to be a big part of the Washington offense, he just hasn't shown it. If he has a good week (against the lowly Raiders rushing defense), this matchup is tilting in favor of Bootay.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... by a bunch!

Indiana Jones (0-2) v *Slender TD's (1-1)

Key Matchup: Daniel Jones v Patrick Mahomes... who would have thought that Indiana Jones is currently ranked higher than Mahomes - not me. Indiana Jones might just be the best Indy QB since Johnny Unitas. Plus, Jones gets to go against Tennessee and well, we have all seen how good Tennessee is. However, on the flip side of this matchup is arguably the 2nd greatest QB to throw the ball (yeah, I said it). The Giants just gave up nearly 400 yards to Prescott... could this be a repeat?

Jones X-Factor: Daniel Jones... I know he is the Key Matchup already, but with the team name change - it just felt right.

Slender TD's X-Factor: Marvin Harrison Jr...we are waiting for MHJ to actually become apart of the offense in Zona. He is too good to get this few of targets. Right now, through 2 weeks MHJ has just over 11 targets... that needs to be the number that he gets in one game. If San Fran plays the way they should, this should be a good game script for Zona to throw the ball - something in favor of MHJ.

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... "Depending on Daniel Jones isn't going to get Indiana Jones many wins."

Project Tush Push (0-2) v 2 A.P. (1-1)

Key Matchup: Jalen Hurts v Josh Allen... both of these QB's are top fantasy options and both could have big weeks. The question is whether or not Philly will resort to the all-world RB (Barkley) to run the ball or will they let Hurts get himself some carries. On the plus side, Hurts should see a few Tush Pushes around the goal line. Oh and by the way, Josh Allen is currently the best NFL player in the league. 

Tush Push X-Factor: Ashton Jeanty... Yes, I did just trash him about last week - but he has the potential and moves to make big plays. He does go up against a Washington defense that has played fairly well against the run, but to be honest he is one of the focal points of the offense. Look for Jeanty to get 15+ touches and few receptions this week. - he just needs to find the endzone.

A.P.'s X-Factor: Jaylen Waddle... Waddle had a decent week last week, nearly scoring 20 points. However, the week before he scored 7 points. So the question is, what Waddle will we get this week? Will Tua wake up from his QB Coma and be able to push the ball? As of right now, things are not looking great and now they are playing Buffalo - but let's be honest, Buffalo's defense has not looked stellar. They have been leaning on the offense to win games, could be a good recipe for Waddle to have a good week.

Prediction: Project Tush Push

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "2 A.P. is in desperate need of a RB!"

Ertz/Eifert (2-0) v Cleveland Streamers (1-1)

Key Matchup: Justin Jefferson v ARSB... this would be a much better matchup is the Vikings knew what they had in Jefferson. It is a confusing team to watch - there is no real urgency to get the ball in the hands of their best playmaker. Jefferson seems to get lost for entire quarters at a time. However, Carson Wentz is now under center and say what you will about winning games (not good at it) - he is definitely going to come in looking to throw the ball. Jefferson might benefit the most from this switch (due to injury). Oh yeah, ARSB is really, really good at catching the ball and finding open space - like really good.

Ertz X-Factor: George Pickens... Dak threw for nearly 400 yards last week and Pickens scored nearly 20 points. This week Dallas takes on Chicago... do I need to spell it out anymore than that?

Streamers X-Factor: Tetairo McMillan... this is the most African first name there is... like true tribe African name. With that being said, Tet looks like the number 1 receiver in Carolina - not that is saying much. This team needs some kind of spark to really get things going... Tetairo is probably their best chance (outside of Minny figuring it out).

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... by a bunch, not even close

ARBL (1-1) v The J-Bones (0-2)

Key Matchup: Tyreek Hill v Nico Collins... both of these receivers seem to be a little slow out the gate, but this could be the week for one of them to get it going. Tyreek Hill is always on the verge of having a big week - but Miami needs to figure out a way to get him the ball and let him work. Nico should be feasting right now with Tank Dell injured... and if he doesn't get it going this week - then we have some serious problems. Houston takes on J-ville... this could be a battle for 2nd in the AFC south - lean on Nico to get you where you need to be!

ARBL X-Factor: Zay Flowers... one receiver who has not been slow out of the gate is Zay Flowers. Flowers is the clear number 1 receiver in Baltimore and he is averaging 20 points a week. Detroit is a good football, but they just want to outscore you - which could mean a big week for Flowers as these two offenses battle it out. 

J-Bones X-Factor: Kenneth Walker... Last season, KWIII started off amazing - this season, ehhhhhh. The Seahawks have turned into a committee in the backfield and that hurts KWIII. However, if he can show the flashes like last season - he should be in position to score big this week. Kenneth also is the best receiving back that Seattle has - which only means more opportunity and more points.

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest: ARBL... J-Bones go 0-3 to start the season

With Love

Commish