Week 5 Predictions

Alright, it is time to stir things up.... let's take a look at the rumor mill...

"Ehhhhh.... did you hear about this one?"

ARBL is looking to switch up the entire lineup. 

After witnessing a gruesome injury happen Tyreek and Lamar now dealing with a hamstring issue - ARBL is left searching for answers. All teams across the league are welcome to send trade offers and ARBL will be entertaining/countering offers throughout the next week.

Cleveland Streamers is looking clear-up RB issues.

Who isn't, amirite? The difference is, Streamers has some household names that could offer in return: Jefferson, McConkey, and who doesn't know Tetairoa? If you need a serious threat at the WR position and are willing to offer up a decent RB in return - Streamers is open for business.

The Double TE lineup will be more than just an experiment for the Cocaine Cowboys.

Yes, Cocaine has 2 good TE's - you would think that they might want to trade one and improve upon another position. However, keeping both and playing both keeps the lineup flexible throughout the bye weeks and allows Cocaine to continue to produce a lineup that could be successful in the long run.

AR Finger has a plethora of average to good RB's and they have a hole at WR (a Malik Nabers size hole).

Somebody needs to fill AR's hole. You fill it with a white guy or black guy - AR is open to either option. They men they can offer in return for any hole you might have... as long his hole gets filled. 

Slender TD's might be the most completed 2-2 team in league.

This not really a rumor... just merely a statement. Don't both sending them trades - they don't need you sh*tty player.

Nips and Salsa is 4-0, sitting atop the mountain, and still looking to experiment with their lineup - send offers and we can counter back and forth until we get something we both like.

Not really a whole lot to add to that "rumor" other than the that I know it is not a rumor - it is actually true. I have a guy on the inside of the front office letting me know.

Do what you will with all of this information - as Sir Francis Bacon once said, "Knowledge is Power." And my good friend Uncle Ben said, "With great Power, comes great Responsibility." Combine those two iconic men and you get... Sir Uncle Francis Ben Bacon once said, "With Knowledge you get great Power, so don't EFF it up!"

Matchup of the Week

Cocaine Cowboys (4-0) v Nips and Salsa (4-0)

I feel bad that in this all important blog, that our millions of readers await impatiently every week, these two teams continually find themselves in the Matchup of the Week. However, you can't pass up a 4-0 team matching up against a 4-0 team. It would be far cooler if Bijan was not on bye week and we could see the full onslaught of the Cocaine Consumers, however it seems they will be saving a little something for what could possibly be a later encounter (playoffs). Look for Gibbs and Company to make a statement win and sit atop the mountain by themselves.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Beats a high powered offense, even with his TE on bye"

Ertz/Eifert (3-1) v Project Tush Push (2-2)

You know what is crazy about this week? This is supposed to be Tush Push's big bye week - they currently have 6 players on bye week, and I still think they are going to win. To be fair - ESPN projects Skattebo to have 17 points, which could happen with the Giants playing the Saints. However, I would take the under on that total and probably most projected totals for next few weeks. Skattebo is fun to watch, don't get me wrong - holdin' it down for the white RB.... but I just trust anyone on the NY Giants offense at this point. On the flip side, Ertz now has to see how much his team has after taking the first loss of the season? How will the respond? Does he need to bench a few starters? Have one-on-one meetings? Where do they go from here?

Prediction: Project Tush Push

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "They are becoming a contender, this one is close - but they pull it out"

ARBL (1-3) v 1st Downs Syndrome (3-1)

A match of teams dealing with similar issues: injured QB, and top tier WR that isn't playing (Hill will be indefinitely and Evans will return sooner rather than later). The big difference? Downs Syndrome's supporting cast, led by CMC and Bucky Irving. There is no real urgency for Downs Syndrome. However, ARBL needs to something and quick. If they don't, they will find themselves on the opposite end of the playoff race in a hurry. What is a hurry? Probably faster than they are willing, but it is time to go shopping.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Easiest win the season for Downs, especially with Lamar out"

BEKH (1-3) v Indiana Jones (1-3)

You know what you don't want when your team is struggling? To have a winnable matchup and your best player be on the bye. This is going to leave Indiana Jones grasping at straws, this is a matchup they need to win and without Josh Jacobs, or any decent replacement, I am not sure that can happen. On the flip side, what does BEKH do at 1-3? Do they try and ride it out and trust the process... time is ticking on that plan. Or do they make a switch-up and see if they gather some mojo? The issue then becomes if they switch it up, do they wait until after this week and trust what they have to beat another struggling team? Either way, I think that BEKH has the upper hand in this one, unless Indiana Jones something to try and produce a lineup that can win this week.

Prediction: BEKH

Mystery Guest: BEKH... "Battle of 2 bad teams, somebody has to win"

The J-Bones* (2-2) v Bootay Pirates (1-3)

Everybody has their guilty pleasures, for some it is listening to white girl music in the shower. For others it is preferring redheads over blondes. For me? It is a fantasy lineup with 3 starting RB's... something about it just looks appetizing. For that reason and that reason alone I am picking The J-Bones.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... "Bootay is not ready to compete until CeeDee comes back"

2AP (1-3) v AR's Finger* (2-2)

This is an interesting matchup with so many different intertwining stories between the two teams...

Chase v Higgins: Who cares if Browning can't throw the ball?

Warren v Bowers: In real life and in fantasy... the battle for the top TE

Waddle is the new number 1 option in Miami and Benson the top dawg in Zona... who's backup is better?

Quinshon v Javonte: Who has the blacker name?

Just a few ideas for some tag lines for this matchup.

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... "No statue being built in the fantasy realm, just stick to the real thing coach"

Cleveland Streamers (1-3) v Slender TD's** (2-2)

Although these teams are only 1 game apart by record... they are over 30 points a week different. Yes, that says "A WEEK." Slender TD's is the top point scorer in the league and for good reason... Puka is the best WR in the league. Mahomes is a top 3 QB. They have 3 starting RB's on their roster, the bigger question - how is this team 2-2? It just doesn't make sense. It makes more sense that they have won the belt twice. These next few weeks are pivotal weeks for teams to jockey for position for a playoff push... let's see how this plays out!

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... "After starting 1-0, Cleveland has lost 3 straight - classic. Slender by a mile"

As always, I wish everyone good luck, except for you Cocaine Cowboys - may your entire roster be forced into a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish