Week 13 Predictions

It is that time of the year....

The week that will determine it all....

The final week of the regular season playoffs...

Who doesn't love a nice jumbled mess in the standings of any league? Personally, I love thinking of all the crazy scenarios of how a team might be able to make the playoffs. This fantasy league is no different.

It is going to take 7 wins to make it to the playoffs - and 9 teams have a chance to make it there.

The teams that are locked in the playoffs.....

BringBack Harbs
Sagging TD's
Mizuno Blues

These three teams are fighting for the top spot in the league - they are guaranteed to make the playoffs. However, nothing is safe for the following teams....

Waco Kids
Dakster's Lavatory
Prible is my B*tch
John Robles
Hoosier Daddy

I love it! There are five teams fighting for three spots! Let's just skip all this fake bulls*t that half you guys don't read at the beginning of the blog and get to what you really came here for....

Juan Fatt Bidge v Sagging TD's

This matchup is way more about pride than it is anything else. Yes, Sagging TD's could win their entry fee back if they win - but BringBack Harbs would have to lose or Sagging TD's would have to outscore BringBack Harbs by 60 points. Neither is extremely likely.

This matchup is really all about one team who was ranked at the extreme low-end of the DDA (see earliest blog posts) and now sitting on top of the standings and the other team who manager happens to be a very confident, some would say arrogant, person and predicted his team to be the best in the league.

Juan Fatt Bidge is here to prove to all the haters that his team belongs in the playoffs and he will do that by demolishing Sagging TD's. In fact, I will personally take any side bets that Juan Fatt Bidge wins this matchup - all bets must be finalized before the opening kickoff on Thursday Nights Game, let's do this chumps!!

Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins

Team Price is a Dick v Mizuno Blue

Here is what is at stake:

Mizuno Blue wins and Sagging TD's and BringBack Harbs loses - "The Swindler" earns the top seed
Mizuno Blue wins and both Sagging and BringBack win - Mizuno must outscore Sagging by 50 points and BringBack by 100

Either way, Mizuno Blue is in the playoffs

Team Price is a Dick wins and Mizuno Blue, Sagging TD's, BringBack Harbs all lose - Team Price is a Dick must outscore BringBack Harbs by 40 and not be outscored by the other two teams and they win first place

Team Price is a Dick loses and The J-Bones wins - The J-Bones wins the 2nd seed by placing first in their division

TPIAD loses and The J-Bones and Waco Kids win - TPIAD must then outscore John Robles (should John Robles lose as well) in order to stay in the playoffs

TPIAD loses and The J-Bones, Waco Kids, Hoosier Daddy win - TPIAD is out of the playoffs

Sadly, there are still plenty of other scenarios - but damnit, I am only a human and my brain hurts!!

Prediction: TPIAD wins

Dakster's Lavatory v BringBack Harbs

Thanks to last week's outburst of points BringBack Harbs in the drivers seat for the top spot in the league.

BBH wins and doesn't get outscored by 40 points by TPIAD and they are the top spot.

BBH loses - still in the playoffs

However, Dakster finds himself in a very peculiar spot...

Dakster must win to make the playoffs, lose and he is out. If he does win....

The J-Bones, TPIAD, and John Robles must all lose and Dakster needs to outscore each of them by 120 points or so (not each, but the top team). Also, Dakster will need to outscore Hoosier Daddy by more than 200 points. All of this is extremely unlikely - but there is one other way....

If Dakster wins and TPIAD and The J-Bones lose, he just needs to outscore Waco Kids and the other two teams by 120 points and he will earn the 2nd seed by winning his division.

Highly unlikely - but there is a chance!!!

Prediction: BringBack Harbs wins and ruins all the fun!

Aaron Rodgers is GAY v Sergio Dippsh*t

Hey look, this matchup doesn't shit!

Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*t wins

Waco Kids v Certified "G"

Certified "G" is fighting for pride - especially after almost scoring 150 points last week. Not bad for team that had trouble scoring in the 90's earlier in the season. If Certified "G" does pull-off the upset it will end the season for Waco Kids.

On the flip side, Waco Kids needs to win to make the playoffs - if they do and....

The J-Bones and TPIAD lose - if Waco Kids doesn't get outscored by 40 points by either team, they will get the 2nd seed.

Hoosier Daddy loses, along with one of the previously mentioned teams as well as John Robles lose - Waco Kids must outscore Hoosier Daddy by 70 points, or get outscored by the other three teams and they are in.

My head hurts - let's just end this madness right here....

Prediction: Certified "G" wins and Waco Kids ends the season with 4 straight loses and falls out of the playoff - just as I had predicted!

Prible is my B*tch v John Robles

PIMB is out of it - sorry, the loss of Elliott proved to be too much in the end! However, it is ironic that the final matchup for PIMB happens to be against a team that has committed "libel" against him the entire season. PIMB - this is your chance for revenge!

John Robles win and you are in, even more so - win and have Mizuno, Sagging, and BBH lose and you are contending for the top spot. You will need to outscore BBH by 70 points - but hey there is still a chance!

John Robles can still lose and make the playoffs. If he loses....

Waco, Dakster, Hoosier all lose - he is in

Waco wins - Robles must outscore Waco by 70 points 

Dakster wins - Robles must not be outscored by 100 points

Hoosier wins - Robles must outscore Hoosier by 140 points

Here is hoping Dakster loses!!

Prediction: John Robles wins - but does not get the top seed!

Matchup of the Week
The J-Bones v Hoosier Daddy

Seriously, this one has so many possible outcomes - I am positive that I will miss one. Here we go...

The J-Bones win - they make the playoffs

JB wins and Mizuno, BBH, Sagging all lose - JB must outscore BBH by 110 points and he wins the top spot

JB wins and TPIAD loses - JB wins the 2nd seed

JB wins and TPIAD wins - JB must outscore TPIAD by 65 points to get the 2nd seed

JB loses and Waco wins - JB must outscore Waco by 110 points (or John Robles loses and JB outscores him by 45 points) or he is out

There are a few more scenarios with JB losing and other teams winning and outscoring each other and the nonsense. Let's just move on to the flip side...

Hoosier loses - they are out of the playoffs (which would be extremely crazy)

Hoosier wins - they have a chance to make it....

I am just going to say this if Hoosier wins, they have enough points to essentially beat any other team in tie breaker. The following teams would need to lose...

The J-Bones, TPIAD, John Robles - however, The J-Bones and TPIAD is in a different division and therefore one of them could still make it.

Prediction: The J-Bones win, not super confident - but it would be crazy, so why not!

I hope your head hurts as much as mine does!

Mwah 

Week 12 Results

Wow, what an explosion of points we had this week. I am not sure we have ever seen this many points scored throughout the entire league - ever. This week's top 5 scores add up to 195.3; the next highest week - 178.3, and that week didn't have anybody score more than 40 points. Not only that, the average for the other 11 week's top 5 point getters is 163.3 - that is 30 point less than this week!!

BringBack Harbs also happen to score the highest point total for any team in any week - in the entirety of our league, and he did it in a 14 team league. Unreal. Couldn't be happier for a guy who never comes to our draft party!

This is the reason why someone drafts Julio Jones - for explosions like this - the man could literally win a week all by himself. Which he would have if he was playing against Aaron Rodgers is GAY. I really do feel bad for ARIG - not even managing to break 50! It would help if he didn't draft thugs that start fights on the sideline!

Now to the results...

Juan Fatt Bidge (3-9) 133.2
Hoosier Daddy (6-6) 105.7

Juan Fatt Bidge finally had the week it envisioned when it made the trade for Bell. It is too bad it came at the expense of Hoosier Daddy and his playoff run. 

From my predictions post I claimed a few things would happen in this matchup....

A) Highest scoring team - Clearly this was not correct. Not only that, this matchup only produced the 4th highest scoring team. Too many points were scored this week!!

B) Highest scoring running back - This matchup had the highest scoring running back and the 3rd highest scoring running back

C) Highest scoring defense - This is much more of a crapshoot than anything else, but no that did not happen this week. Although, it did produce the 5th highest scoring defense this week (that started)

D) Break 150 - I don't know why I always say this, it rarely happens. But no, this did not happen.

So, clearly 1 for 4 is really bad - like really bad! However, there is one prediction that can heal all wounds....

Result: Juan Fatt Bidge wins

Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins.... RIGHT!!

Prible is my B*tch (5-7) 104.6
Mizuno Blue (8-4) 106.6

What a great matchup! I will say this, Keenan Allen is really picking up the slack for this team - can you imagine how good PIMB would be if Elliott didn't get screwed over by Goodell? PIMB scored 9.6 from both his running backs combined - Elliott averaged almost double that in a given week. 

Does everybody remember a couple weeks back when Certified "G" traded Joe Mixon for Frank Gore straight up? Now, yes Gore scored 15 points - but I think everyone knew the upside and potential of Mixon far outweighed Gore. Not to mention, this was a straight up trade that I have heard from sources was actually a counter offer. Which means, someone thought this trade was more fair than a previous trade - wwwhhhhaaaa? Nonetheless, The Swindler is back at it and Mixon lead the way!

Oh and by the way, after all the complaining Mizuno has done about Defense scores - he should thank the Steelers def. for somehow scoring 3 points after giving up 28 points!

Result: Mizuno Blue wins

Prediction: Mizuno Blue wins...RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (7-5) 125.2
Sergio Dippsh*ts (4-8) 109.5

Phillip Rivers and J. Williams came to play!! Boy, did they carry The J-Bones to victory - a much needed victory. The J-Bones is going to be looking for improvements, if they make the playoffs, at the running back position. They can not rely on Darkwa - my favorite drink to order - and Abdullah - make sure you face Mecca when you say his name - to get the job done. Thielen and Evans are good solid receivers.  They could continue this run for The J-Bones, a man who hated his team!

Sergio's streak comes to an end. Whatever outside chance, if any, they had at the playoffs are dashed with this loss. Sergio scored 109.5, which is good most weeks - this week this would be the 7th best score. Ouch

Result: The J-Bones win

Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts win....WRONG!!!

Dakster's Lavatory (6-6) 81.9
Certified "G" (5-7) 149.5

For Dakster, things really turned for the worse once Elliott got suspended. Dan Prescott has played horrible and everyone else on Dak Lav has followed suit. Chris Thompson went down with an injury and there was no real replacement for him. Somehow, Davis has managed to scored zero points - while not being injured.

Certified "G' is playing for pride - and he can hold his head up high. Even though he was more than 30 points away from the top score, he still scored the 2nd highest total this week. Certified had three starting positions score more than 25 points this week - that would have beaten at least one team by itself. Nobody would have predicted this kind of performance, but hey even poverish kids can be athletic!

Result: Certified "G" wins

Prediction: Dakster's Lavatory wins...WRONG!!

Aaron Rodgers is GAY (4-8) 54.7
John Robles (7-5) 78.6

Woah, stand back everyone - we got a real shootout here!! Let's just say it is a good thing John Robles was playing ARIG this week, as they both scored the two lowest point totals. What is there nice to say? 

Crabtree threw some solid punches; he had good form. I just don't get why you punch someone who has a helmet on. I think I would go straight for the ribs or maybe the balls. I mean I am not going to get into a fight and break my hand because I punched someone in the helmet. Nobody said these guys where the brightest crayons in the box!

Interesting little fact, if you combine both these scores - 133.3 - they just barely edge out Juan Fatt Bidge for the 4th highest team total. Yes, that is correct - three other teams beat both these teams together!

Result: John Robles wins

Prediction: John Robles wins...RIGHT!!

Waco Kids (6-6) 112.4
Sagging TD's (8-4) 140.2

This is a killer blow to Waco Kids and their playoff chances. There is a slew of teams that are sitting at 6-6 and fighting for a playoff spot. On the flip side, Sagging TD's find themselves securely in the playoffs and fighting for the top seed.

I don't want to say I called it, but I did call it. With all eyes on Antonio Brown - he had another big week. Brown has topped 40 points the past two weeks - and both have been when he is playing in the night time game and there is no other games going on. The dude loves the spotlight! 

I also would like to point out - that while scoring 112.4 is normally and good to great score - this week you would have to score more than 120 to crack the top 5!

Result: Sagging TD's wins

Prediction: Sagging TD's wins....RIGHT!!!

Matchup of the Week
Team Price is D*ck (7-5) 94
BringBack Harbs (8-5) 186.9

Well, it is amazing that TPIAD almost got doubled and score 94 points. Jones and Coleman both had decent weeks - not like I called it or anything. Delanie Walker lead the way for TPIAD, not like I called it or anything.

What I didn't call? Jones scoring 50 points and 6 positions on BringBack Harbs scoring more than 20 points. That means that if you ranked the top scoring positions in this matchup TPIAD's first guy would be ranked 7th - and only by .3 points. This was an extremely lopsided affair and it could not have come at a more perfect time for BringBack Harbs.

BringBack Harbs is now in the running for the top spot in the league with one week left. They will face-off against Dakster's Lavoratory, either way they are in the playoffs - but can they continue the hot streak and win the number #1 seed?

Result: BringBack Harbs wins

Prediction: Team Price is a Dick wins... WRONG!!!

This Week: 4-3

This Season: 45-39

Competitor Week: 3-4

Competitor Season: 39-45

I can almost taste that "Race Track Pack"

Mwah

Week 12 Predictions

With just two weeks left in the regular season there are a few matches that will greatly determine the playoff race. It is bittersweet not being in the race - sweet, because I no longer have to worry about who to pick up and all the different match-ups my team has; bitter, because I clearly have the best team. I mean if there was one characteristic that describes every "best team" it has to be a 2-9 record.

Although, I went through every week and looked back at the scoreboard. I decided to find out if I really did belong in the playoffs...

Each week the top 6 team scores earn a win. It doesn't matter who you play, if you won, if you lost - top 6 scores get a win, everyone else loses. The results?

Hoosier Daddy - 9 wins
Juan Fatt Bidge - 6  wins
BringBack Harbs - 6 wins
Everyone else had 5 wins or less (the janitor must have thrown my paper away and thus I have no clue who had what after these three)

Nonetheless, it is very apparent that Juan Fatt Bidge deserves to be in the playoffs!! It is ashamed that fantasy football is not played that way - a damn shame. It is too bad that is played just like actual football - who'da thunk it?!? Just remember all you playoff bound teams - the next time you see Juan Fatt Bidge, give her a little lovin' too (they usually make up their looks with other abilities, just saying).

Now to why you are here....

Juan Fatt Bidge (2-9) v Hoosier Daddy (6-5)

Hey look, it is the one team that actually can stake a claim to being the best team in the league - other than the team with the best record! Hoosier Daddy has scored nearly 100 points more than the 2nd highest scoring team - yet somehow find themselves at 6-5 and just barely in the playoffs. Juan Fatt Bidge has scored the 3rd highest points - and find themselves at 2-9. Either way, there could be some serious points coming out of this matchup...

I am just going to say this:

A) The highest scoring team in the league is going to come from this matchup

B) The highest scoring running back in the league is going to come from this matchup

C) The highest scoring defense in the league is going to come from this matchup

D) One team is going to break 150 points in this matchup

All of these bold (but soon to be true) predictions lead me to believe....

Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins.....and makes Hoosier Daddy's road to the playoffs that much tougher!!

Prible is my B*tch (5-6) v Mizuno Blue (7-4)

Mizuno Blue finds themselves in a very peculiar place in the standings. At 7-4, and tied for the top spot in the league, they still could very possibly see themselves just outside the playoffs when the dust has settled. Mizuno Blue is the lowest seeded team at 7-4 and there are 3 teams at 6-5 that have scored more points than Mizuno Blue. However, destiny is their hands and if you had to bet for any team to make it, why not pick the team owned by "The Swindler."

On the flip side, PIMB is struggling to stay above water. They are just outside the playoff cutline and without their workhorse (Elliott) they will find it very difficult to find any type of floating device. Keenan Allen had a huge week last week - one that I don't see happening again - and without that it would have been a blowout. Losing a player like Elliott is just too much - ask the Dallas Cowboys!

Prediction: Mizuno Blue wins....one step closer to the promise land!

The J-Bones (6-5) v Sergio Dippsh*ts (4-7)

This is a matchup that is far more important for one team than the other - The J-Bones really need this win. They find themselves just outside the playoffs - and destiny is not in their hands. They need a few teams to lose, luckily next week they play one of those teams - Hoosier Daddy. There is still possibility for The J-Bones to make the playoffs, but they have to win the next two weeks.

Sergio would love to play the spoiler this week. With both running backs going Thursday, we will get a good chance to see what his team is capable of. Not to mention, J-Bones have 5 positions playing on Thursday - who doesn't love a good Thanksgiving football game. Which does make me wonder, why does everyone complain about every other Thursday Night game - when some teams play mid-day on Thanksgiving? Food for thought.

I think we will by the end of Thursday who has a good grip on this matchup....

Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins... crushing blow for The J-Bones

Dakster's Lavatory (6-5) v Certified "G" (4-7)

What a matchup we have here - both teams are on the outside looking in. In order to figure out the chances of Dak making it in, it would involve a lot of  math and calculations and frankly I am not an actuary. But the chances of Dak making it are very slim, however there is still a chance!

Luckily, Dak finds themselves in a pretty good matchup this week. Certified "G" has failed to break 100 six times this season. Not only that, they have posted the lowest score this season and failed to break 90 five times. The question is: which Certified "G" will show up this week?

On the flip side, Dakster has failed to break 100 six times and has posted the 2nd lowest score this season. The big difference: Dakster is scoring in the 90's and Certified is scoring in the 80's. With that being said....

Prediction: Dakster's Lavatory wins... keeping the chances alive

Aaron Rodgers is GAY (4-7) v John Robles (6-5)

ARIG was just eliminated from the running last week - their chances of making were not very high before that week, but now they are mathematically eliminated. John Robles, on the other hand, finds themselves as the first person out.

Last week I stated that I believed that 2 teams that were not in the playoffs would make it in. Hoosier Daddy was the first team - John Robles is the 2nd team. J Robes needs to win this week and next week and I believe they should have enough points scored to win any type of tiebreaker (unless it is with Hoosier Daddy). The interesting thing about this matchup - each team only has one player partaking in the great tradition that is Thanksgiving Football. At least that gives these owners a reason to continue to watch football on Sunday!

Prediction: John Robles wins.... gotta keep those playoff hopes alive!

Waco Kids (6-5) v Sagging TD's (7-4)

Don't let the lineups fool you - this is a big, big matchup! One team is playing to stay alive in the playoff race and the other is fighting for the top spot in the league.

Sagging TD's will actually have 5 positions play on Thursday (Ebron is on the bench). This is going to make this matchup look lopsided from the beginning - and maybe it will stay that way? If Gurley does not have a big game - it could spell trouble for Waco Kids. Sagging TD's has a wide receiver going on Sunday night - as I predicted last week - that loves to play in the spotlight. Who else is playing Sunday night? All eyes will be on you Antonio Brown - don't disappoint.

Prediction: Sagging TD's wins.... crushing blow to Waco Kids

Matchup of the Week
Team Price is a Dick (7-4) v BringBack Harbs (7-4)

This is a marquee matchup and one that will have a tremendous impact on who wins the regular season! Both these teams are tied for the top spot - and not only does this really help their chances of winning the regular season, the winner also clinches a playoff spot!

Wilson has been playing out of his mind and is now facing an awful defense this week, 49ers. If Freeman is still out - Coleman is the head guy in the ATL. It is a good thing that the Falcons are playing the Buccs and there could plenty of offense to go around - look for Jones and Coleman to both have good weeks.

On the flip side, Baldwin needs to be the main recipient of Wilson's onslaught. That could very easily counter balance - the big time performance from the quarterback. If there ever was a week to have Delanie Walker - this is the week. Walker is currently ranked the 6th overall tight-end, look for him to have a multiple touchdown game this week and vault himself into the top 5.

Prediction: Price is a Dick wins.... it is a close call - but hey, I gotta go with my former players!!

Mwah

Week 11 Results

Many people call this time of year, the most wonderful time of the year. They are of course referring to the holiday season. With Thanksgiving only a few days away and Christmas roughly one month away, and don't forget about New Years only a week after Christmas.

Side note - New Years is consistently overlooked and under appreciated.

Everybody loves the holiday season, especially sports fans. It is that time of year when it is too cold out to get any actual yard work done - so that can no longer be held over your head. You have no other option to stay inside and work or just stay inside. It is not like men are just going to start doing the dishes and cleaning the house - that is woman's work!!

But seriously, the one thing I like about this time of year is the fact that I can volunteer to do the laundry. Laundry is the easiest household chore - trust me. To all men out there in the world - do the laundry for your wives/girlfriend/bang buddy/sidechick. They will greatly appreciate - and when they appreciate it, they will appreciate you, if you know what I mean!!

Sex. Sex is what I meant.

Seriously, laundry is super easy. You throw a pile of clothes in the washer and wait. Then in about an hour you take them out and throw them in the dryer. Then in about an hour you take out those clothes and fold them while watching your favorite show on tv. Seriously, a cake walk! You earn brownie points and get to lounge around and watch whatever you want on tv. You get to have your cake and she can eat it too!

Cake is your penis.

Enough about how to earn brownie points the easy way, let's get to why you really came here....

Juan Fatt Bidge (2-9) 128.4
BringBack Harbs (7-4) 128.5

It has become comical. Once again, I find myself in a position to win and yet somehow I snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I was ahead by 35 going into the Monday Night Game - and I still had my kicker to go. Yet somehow, some way - Harbs finds a way to win. That way was by virtue of Wilson and his feet. Wilson had 80+ rushing yards and touchdown - that alone earned him 14 points, plus anything he did through the air.

In looking at JFB and the starting lineup - I honestly can not think of anyone that I would want to replace. It is just the luck of the fantasy draw, JFB would have beaten every team in the league this week except for 2 - one of them being BringBack Harbs. Congrats douchebag!

Result: BringBack Harbs wins

Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins.... WRONG!!

Mizuno Blue (7-4) 125.7
Waco Kids (6-5) 107.1

As I said earlier, this game will determine who makes the playoffs and who doesn't. Sorry Waco - it might be a sad playoff season when you find yourself as the 7th seed and just outside the playoffs. Now yes, nothing is set in stone - but this was a big matchup and not winning it really hurt the chances. 

On the flip side, Mizuno Blue has to love the Ingram and Brees combination. Sometimes I like to look at lineups and think what a good player to have, I wonder how they got him - draft, waiver wire, or trade? However, there is not a starting position on that Mizuno drafted. Plus, only three other players were waiver wire pickups - kicker, defense, and tight end. Which means that all the other points and good games that were had by this team - they were all intended for someone else!! The Swindler has done his work - who will he swindle next?

Result: Mizuno Blues wins

Prediction: Waco Kids wins.... WRONG!!

Hoosier Daddy (6-5) 115.4
Prible is my B*tch (5-6) 111.9

As I stated earlier, there are just too many scoring options for Hoosier Daddy. When you have three starting positions score in the 20's - you have a good chance of grabbing the win. Hunt has returned back to earth - earlier in the season he was superman. Have no fear, Kamara is here! Seriously, I can't remember the last time fantasy owners wanted, actually wanted, to own a Saint running back. Currently, I wouldn't mind having both!

PIMB found themselves in a tough situation and it just makes them want to hit a woman! But don't do that, don't even think about it, don't even go near a woman - they might lie and say something happened and then you would have to serve 6 games for the all mighty Goodell. Instead, you should thank Allen for having the game of his life. He is the only reason this thing was close! It also helped that somehow the Bills were turning the ball over every 2 minutes and the Chargers had plenty of scoring options.

Result: Hoosier Daddy wins

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins.... RIGHT!!

Sergio Dippsh*ts (4-7) 121.9
Price is a Dick (7-4) 110.3

Once again, if you have three starting positions score in the 20's - you have a good chance of winning! Roethlisberger had a great game to start off the week early for Sergio. Murray was the big workhorse in Minnesota this week and if that continues Sergio will win a few more - too bad he won't be in the playoffs! 

TPIAD had some struggles scoring points. Who would have thought that Smith would not score in double digits against the Giants. The Chiefs looked downright awful on Sunday. Not to mention the fact Sergio won the kicker matchup, and his kicker scored 1 point. If it wasn't for long-tooth Fitzy this would have been a hhhhhuuuuggggeee blow-out.

Result: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins

Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins..... RIGHT!!

Certified "G" (4-7) 82.2
The J-Bones (6-5) 129.8

Remember when Thielen was a drafted? He was the 35th picked wide receiver - right now? He is the 3rd best receiver in fantasy. This is all in the midst of a quarterback controversy and while being white! Hooked on a Thielen is the answer!

I am just going to say this about Certified "G" - how the f*ck did I lose to this team? This is the same team that is now starting both Dolphins running backs. Nelson and Gronk need to stand back and witness the true Great White Hope and pass the torch the Thielen. 

Result: The J-Bones win

Prediction: The J-Bones win.... RIGHT!!

Sagging TD's (7-4) 102.3
Aaron Rodgers is GAY (4-7) 89.5

What a tremendous win from Sagging! This goes a long way to helping their playoff hopes. They managed to pull out the win and had a combined .3 points from three positions - ouch! The big culprit would be the Rams defense who scored -5 points. But, like I stated in the predictions, Brown likes playing when all eyes are on him! Brown scored nearly half ARIG's entire week total!

My momma always taught me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Sorry, ARIG - guess I am keeping my mouth shut! Hey, wait a second - your kicker had a stellar game!!!!!

Result: Sagging TD's wins

Prediction: Sagging TD's wins..... RIGHT!!

Matchup of the Week
John Robles (6-5) 99.8
Dakster's Lavatory (6-5) 91.3

What a brotherly matchup! I just want to know what the youngster has to do now - we all know there was some kind of bet. Unless, marriage has change someone? Nahhhhhh

Seriously, do you even feel good about winning with a point total that low? You would have only beat 3 teams this week - but hey then again the Giants won this week and they only scored 12 points! Bobby Woods still managed to have a decent game - who would have thought? 

Dakster had too many bad situations happen all in the same week. Thompson - who was making an argument for "steal of the draft" will now undergo surgery. Dak had far and away his worst game.... ever. It is extremely rare for a quarterback to score negative points - especially by a quarterback as consistently good as Prescott. That folks, that is why DL lost this matchup. Ride by him (Dak), die by him!!

Result: John Robles wins

Prediction: John Robles wins.... RIGHT!!

Predictions: 5-2

Season: 41-36

Competitor Predictions: 2-5

Competitor Season: 36-41

Mwah

Week 11 Predictions

It has come to my attention that fantasy football is increasing difficult to care about when you are eliminated. Why do I say that? Because I am f*cking eliminated.

However, it is my duty and civil right to give the people what they want. We all know that everybody hangs on my every word when it comes to fantasy predictions, I mean look how spot on I have been since the beginning....

Good Morning Gentleman,

I just wanted to let you know that if you didn't pay - try to make your way down here and hit me up with a twenty - I will cross you off the list. 

Also, I would like to begin the season with a prediction of the teams....

JFB - 10-3, obviously - Delanie taking me to the top!!!

MIKE - 9-4, what can I say? You gotta sweet name and a sweet team

GRIE - 9-4, I knew it then, I know it now - definitely not the top ranked team!

IHTC - 8-5, It pains me to admit this, but I actually think you team is decent

PRIB - 8-5, You benefited greatly from having the number 1 overall pick

WHO? - 8-5, Scott - I just will never rank you with a losing record, never

GN - 7-6, See above

MORG - 7-6, I hope the Cubs are worth it

BONE - 5-8, Thanks for hosting - want to host my championship party as well?

GERD - 5-8, Gerdes is still playing? News to me

BEBO - 5-8, Welcome to the league - your team is a P.O.S.

KUNK - 4-9, You know, if we can make a trade - your prediction win goes up!

MOUN - 3-10, Who is this guy? Is he even a real person? Has he ever drafted?

YOLO - 3-10, clearly the cheat sheets did nothing for you!!

Yours truly,

Commish

That was taken from an email that was sent at the beginning of the year. Let's see how I have faired so far...

TPIAD (7-3) - Somehow, trading away the highest ranked fantasy player has made you the team to beat!
KUNK (6-4) - Gurley has been a man, and you have greatly outperformed your predecessor!
BEBO (6-4) - Remember, when I said your team was a P.O.S. - look who is laughing now!!
MOUN (6-4) - Every year you miss the draft party, every year you are near the top - maybe you are on to something!!
MIKE  (6-4) - Once again, sweet name must mean you know a little about fantasy football?
GRIE (6-4) - Find yourself, just barely making the playoffs - never thought you would ever become known as "THE SWINDLER"
----------------------------------------------Playoff Cutoff------------------------------------------------------
WHO? (5-5) - If we went solely by points scored you would be number one, so which team are you knocking out of the playoffs?
YOLO  (5-5) - Obviously, you are not last - time to make a run for the playoffs - still can't make predictions!!!
PIMB aka IHTC (5-5) - Tell your son, "You have done a decent job, but this is more a man's sport, time for daddy to take over!"
BONE  (5-5) - I guess you weren't wrong when you said you hated your team
MORG 4-6) - Looks like somebody might be joining the cellar dwellers, it is not so bad on bottom - trust me, I found that out last night!
GERD 4-6) - I still think you have the worst team, however - you did beat me, so what does that say about my team?
GN (3-7) - I like your new name, hate your team - how the hell did I lose to you???
JFB (2-9) - Karma? Possibly. Sh*tty ownership? Most Definitely. Over confident when drunk? Obviously.

With only the top six making the playoffs, we still have a tight race. I would say that really only 8 or 9 teams have a chance at making it. In fact, I think that two teams that are outside the playoffs will still make the playoffs when it is all said and done. It should make for some fun match-ups....

Juan Fatt Bidge v BringBack Harbs

I am really going to love playing spoiler to some teams. I would like to dedicate this week's win to all those who actually come to the draft party!! 

Oh, what - you have a legitimate excuse? Unless, you were banging out some stress in the bedroom you do not have a legitimate excuse. Actually, I take that back - you can get that finished real quick and maybe miss just a few rounds, well, probably more like just the first round!

Anyways, yes I am going to freakin' win this week! Somebody suggested that I should stop picking myself and I might win. Screw that - in fact I am going to score 150 this week, even with Osweiler at quarterback!!

Prediction: JFB wins!!!

Mizuno Blue v Waco Kids

This is a great matchup for those that are sitting just outside the playoffs. One of these teams is going to win and drastically increase their chances of making it, the other is going to lose and drastically her their chances. In fact, I will say this - whoever loses this matchup will not make the playoffs! You heard it first, if you lose this matchup you will be on the outside looking in!

The Swindler is looking for some big weeks from his big play or bust starters - Hill and Cooper. He also is hoping that the Saints work a constant check-down game between Brees and Ingram! On the flip side, Waco is just trusting the Gurley will do what he has done all season - curb stomp the opponents defense! I am just saying - let's hope your receivers can get a touchdown, if not it may be a struggle! 

I think one of them will get a touchdown and you will find yourself squeaking by and looking pretty for the playoffs...

Prediction: Waco Kids wins!!

Hoosier Daddy v Prible is my B*tch

This is another interesting matchup in terms of the playoff race. Both of these teams are sitting just outside the cut line and both have a legitimate chance of making the playoffs. The winner of this matchup has an extremely good chance of moving up and being inside the cut line. The loser? Might as well kiss it good-bye!

Which is why it also extremely unfortunate for PIMB that Elliott is serving his suspension - and there is nothing out there to help him out!! He has a few running backs on his bench, but they are on the bye. Which is why he currently has Jones (doubtful) and McGuire (bye) still in his lineup. Sooooo, he has gone out and grabbed Ekeler and put Richardson in at flex. Those are not bad replacements - but enough to beat Hoosier Daddy? Not sure about that.

Can Kamara really have another big week? If not, can Hopkins continue his success? If not, can Hunt perform up to his standards? If not, can Cousins use his the weapons against New Orleans defense? It just seems like there are too many ways that Hoosier Daddy can score points. It should be a nice boost for H.D. coming down the stretch....

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins!!

Sergio Dippsh*ts v Price is a Dick

Sergio has the type of team that can matchup with anyone on paper - yet somehow they have struggled to score points (except last week). TPIAD is sitting on top of the league and with a win this week they would clinch a playoff spot - although I am sure they are already in. TPIAD is playing for the victory - who wouldn't want to win the regular season?

With so many weapons on TPIAD's side, it will be hard to keep up for Sergio. However, if Thomas has a big week - which he could, or Gordon explodes - remember what happened last week against the Bills defense, now imagine if all of that was from one person! I know that I am probably talking myself into it, but what the hell.....

Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins!!

Certified "G" v The J-Bones

The J-Bones find themselves playing the worst team in the league - in my opinion. This could not come at a better time for The J-Bones. A win would be huge for them. Certified is still technically in the race, but they would need to win out. This would not only be a huge blow to The J-Bones, but also keep Certified "G" in the running.

There are not many bright spots in this matchup. Gronk is good. Thielen has been playing amazing. After that, who? Nelson? Remember, Hundley is now the quarterback. Evans? Coming off suspension and Fitzpatrick is the quarterback - not exactly the gunslinger fantasy owners may want. This is a close matchup, but I am going to go with my gut here....

Prediction: The J-Bones wins!!

Sagging TD's v Aaron Rodgers is GAY

This is an important matchup for one team - the other has a chance to play spoiler (technically still alive in the race, but extremely slim chances). 

I am just going to say this, Antonio Brown loves playing when the lights are the brightest. With nobody else playing on Thursday - expect a show. Diggs has slammed back down to earth and returned normalcy. The big question, who is going to replace McCaffrey? He has been playing amazing and it is going to be tough to get those points from someone else.

On the flip side, Taylor has been riding the struggle bus. Parker had a decent game last week - thanks to garbage time. After that? Yuck.

Prediction: Sagging TD's wins!!

Matchup of the Week

John Robles v Dakster's Lab

We all know why this is the matchup of the week, and it has nothing to do with fantasy football. Let the brother battle begin....

QB: Brady and Prescott are good matchup. I like either quarterback here.

RB: Fournette and McKinnon v Howard and Thompson. Once again, a decent matchup. I like Fournette as the top back in this battle royale. Which is why I am giving the edge to Mr. Robles.

WR: Woods and Lockett v Jackson and Lee. Honestly, these are a bunch of receivers that extremely low-end plays at the beginning of the season. Yet, somehow all four are starting - and one of them lead all point scorers last week! Has the well run dry with Bobby Woods? Time will tell my friend, time will tell.

TE: Hooper v Davis. Hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - who knows, neither are top end tight ends. Either could catch a touchdown.

Flex: Murray v Shepard. Murray had the big week last week. Lets hope they continue to feed the rock to Murray. I think this is were the pendulum really starts to swing towards Mr. Robles.

D/ST: Normally, I don't write about this. However, Dak has a pretty decent advantage in this area. His defense is going against Savage at quarterback - I would really like to see Arizona turn up the pressure and get after him.

K: Don't know, don't care

I just hope that there is some kind of side bet between these two - we know the eldest is up for something!

Prediction: John Robles wins

Mwah