Side note - New Years is consistently overlooked and under appreciated.
Everybody loves the holiday season, especially sports fans. It is that time of year when it is too cold out to get any actual yard work done - so that can no longer be held over your head. You have no other option to stay inside and work or just stay inside. It is not like men are just going to start doing the dishes and cleaning the house - that is woman's work!!
But seriously, the one thing I like about this time of year is the fact that I can volunteer to do the laundry. Laundry is the easiest household chore - trust me. To all men out there in the world - do the laundry for your wives/girlfriend/bang buddy/sidechick. They will greatly appreciate - and when they appreciate it, they will appreciate you, if you know what I mean!!
Sex. Sex is what I meant.
Seriously, laundry is super easy. You throw a pile of clothes in the washer and wait. Then in about an hour you take them out and throw them in the dryer. Then in about an hour you take out those clothes and fold them while watching your favorite show on tv. Seriously, a cake walk! You earn brownie points and get to lounge around and watch whatever you want on tv. You get to have your cake and she can eat it too!
Cake is your penis.
Enough about how to earn brownie points the easy way, let's get to why you really came here....
Juan Fatt Bidge (2-9) 128.4
BringBack Harbs (7-4) 128.5
It has become comical. Once again, I find myself in a position to win and yet somehow I snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I was ahead by 35 going into the Monday Night Game - and I still had my kicker to go. Yet somehow, some way - Harbs finds a way to win. That way was by virtue of Wilson and his feet. Wilson had 80+ rushing yards and touchdown - that alone earned him 14 points, plus anything he did through the air.
In looking at JFB and the starting lineup - I honestly can not think of anyone that I would want to replace. It is just the luck of the fantasy draw, JFB would have beaten every team in the league this week except for 2 - one of them being BringBack Harbs. Congrats douchebag!
Result: BringBack Harbs wins
Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins.... WRONG!!
Mizuno Blue (7-4) 125.7
Waco Kids (6-5) 107.1
As I said earlier, this game will determine who makes the playoffs and who doesn't. Sorry Waco - it might be a sad playoff season when you find yourself as the 7th seed and just outside the playoffs. Now yes, nothing is set in stone - but this was a big matchup and not winning it really hurt the chances.
On the flip side, Mizuno Blue has to love the Ingram and Brees combination. Sometimes I like to look at lineups and think what a good player to have, I wonder how they got him - draft, waiver wire, or trade? However, there is not a starting position on that Mizuno drafted. Plus, only three other players were waiver wire pickups - kicker, defense, and tight end. Which means that all the other points and good games that were had by this team - they were all intended for someone else!! The Swindler has done his work - who will he swindle next?
Result: Mizuno Blues wins
Prediction: Waco Kids wins.... WRONG!!
Hoosier Daddy (6-5) 115.4
Prible is my B*tch (5-6) 111.9
As I stated earlier, there are just too many scoring options for Hoosier Daddy. When you have three starting positions score in the 20's - you have a good chance of grabbing the win. Hunt has returned back to earth - earlier in the season he was superman. Have no fear, Kamara is here! Seriously, I can't remember the last time fantasy owners wanted, actually wanted, to own a Saint running back. Currently, I wouldn't mind having both!
PIMB found themselves in a tough situation and it just makes them want to hit a woman! But don't do that, don't even think about it, don't even go near a woman - they might lie and say something happened and then you would have to serve 6 games for the all mighty Goodell. Instead, you should thank Allen for having the game of his life. He is the only reason this thing was close! It also helped that somehow the Bills were turning the ball over every 2 minutes and the Chargers had plenty of scoring options.
Result: Hoosier Daddy wins
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins.... RIGHT!!
Sergio Dippsh*ts (4-7) 121.9
Price is a Dick (7-4) 110.3
Once again, if you have three starting positions score in the 20's - you have a good chance of winning! Roethlisberger had a great game to start off the week early for Sergio. Murray was the big workhorse in Minnesota this week and if that continues Sergio will win a few more - too bad he won't be in the playoffs!
TPIAD had some struggles scoring points. Who would have thought that Smith would not score in double digits against the Giants. The Chiefs looked downright awful on Sunday. Not to mention the fact Sergio won the kicker matchup, and his kicker scored 1 point. If it wasn't for long-tooth Fitzy this would have been a hhhhhuuuuggggeee blow-out.
Result: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins
Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins..... RIGHT!!
Certified "G" (4-7) 82.2
The J-Bones (6-5) 129.8
Remember when Thielen was a drafted? He was the 35th picked wide receiver - right now? He is the 3rd best receiver in fantasy. This is all in the midst of a quarterback controversy and while being white! Hooked on a Thielen is the answer!
I am just going to say this about Certified "G" - how the f*ck did I lose to this team? This is the same team that is now starting both Dolphins running backs. Nelson and Gronk need to stand back and witness the true Great White Hope and pass the torch the Thielen.
Result: The J-Bones win
Prediction: The J-Bones win.... RIGHT!!
Sagging TD's (7-4) 102.3
Aaron Rodgers is GAY (4-7) 89.5
What a tremendous win from Sagging! This goes a long way to helping their playoff hopes. They managed to pull out the win and had a combined .3 points from three positions - ouch! The big culprit would be the Rams defense who scored -5 points. But, like I stated in the predictions, Brown likes playing when all eyes are on him! Brown scored nearly half ARIG's entire week total!
My momma always taught me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Sorry, ARIG - guess I am keeping my mouth shut! Hey, wait a second - your kicker had a stellar game!!!!!
Result: Sagging TD's wins
Prediction: Sagging TD's wins..... RIGHT!!
Matchup of the Week
John Robles (6-5) 99.8
Dakster's Lavatory (6-5) 91.3
What a brotherly matchup! I just want to know what the youngster has to do now - we all know there was some kind of bet. Unless, marriage has change someone? Nahhhhhh
Seriously, do you even feel good about winning with a point total that low? You would have only beat 3 teams this week - but hey then again the Giants won this week and they only scored 12 points! Bobby Woods still managed to have a decent game - who would have thought?
Dakster had too many bad situations happen all in the same week. Thompson - who was making an argument for "steal of the draft" will now undergo surgery. Dak had far and away his worst game.... ever. It is extremely rare for a quarterback to score negative points - especially by a quarterback as consistently good as Prescott. That folks, that is why DL lost this matchup. Ride by him (Dak), die by him!!
Result: John Robles wins
Prediction: John Robles wins.... RIGHT!!
Predictions: 5-2
Season: 41-36
Competitor Predictions: 2-5
Competitor Season: 36-41
Mwah
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