However, it is my duty and civil right to give the people what they want. We all know that everybody hangs on my every word when it comes to fantasy predictions, I mean look how spot on I have been since the beginning....
Good Morning Gentleman,
I just wanted to let you know that if you didn't pay - try to make your way down here and hit me up with a twenty - I will cross you off the list.
Also, I would like to begin the season with a prediction of the teams....
JFB - 10-3, obviously - Delanie taking me to the top!!!
MIKE - 9-4, what can I say? You gotta sweet name and a sweet team
GRIE - 9-4, I knew it then, I know it now - definitely not the top ranked team!
IHTC - 8-5, It pains me to admit this, but I actually think you team is decent
PRIB - 8-5, You benefited greatly from having the number 1 overall pick
WHO? - 8-5, Scott - I just will never rank you with a losing record, never
GN - 7-6, See above
MORG - 7-6, I hope the Cubs are worth it
BONE - 5-8, Thanks for hosting - want to host my championship party as well?
GERD - 5-8, Gerdes is still playing? News to me
BEBO - 5-8, Welcome to the league - your team is a P.O.S.
KUNK - 4-9, You know, if we can make a trade - your prediction win goes up!
MOUN - 3-10, Who is this guy? Is he even a real person? Has he ever drafted?
YOLO - 3-10, clearly the cheat sheets did nothing for you!!
Yours truly,
Commish
That was taken from an email that was sent at the beginning of the year. Let's see how I have faired so far...
TPIAD (7-3) - Somehow, trading away the highest ranked fantasy player has made you the team to beat!
KUNK (6-4) - Gurley has been a man, and you have greatly outperformed your predecessor!
BEBO (6-4) - Remember, when I said your team was a P.O.S. - look who is laughing now!!
MOUN (6-4) - Every year you miss the draft party, every year you are near the top - maybe you are on to something!!
MIKE (6-4) - Once again, sweet name must mean you know a little about fantasy football?
GRIE (6-4) - Find yourself, just barely making the playoffs - never thought you would ever become known as "THE SWINDLER"
----------------------------------------------Playoff Cutoff------------------------------------------------------
WHO? (5-5) - If we went solely by points scored you would be number one, so which team are you knocking out of the playoffs?
YOLO (5-5) - Obviously, you are not last - time to make a run for the playoffs - still can't make predictions!!!
PIMB aka IHTC (5-5) - Tell your son, "You have done a decent job, but this is more a man's sport, time for daddy to take over!"
BONE (5-5) - I guess you weren't wrong when you said you hated your team
MORG 4-6) - Looks like somebody might be joining the cellar dwellers, it is not so bad on bottom - trust me, I found that out last night!
GERD 4-6) - I still think you have the worst team, however - you did beat me, so what does that say about my team?
GN (3-7) - I like your new name, hate your team - how the hell did I lose to you???
JFB (2-9) - Karma? Possibly. Sh*tty ownership? Most Definitely. Over confident when drunk? Obviously.
With only the top six making the playoffs, we still have a tight race. I would say that really only 8 or 9 teams have a chance at making it. In fact, I think that two teams that are outside the playoffs will still make the playoffs when it is all said and done. It should make for some fun match-ups....
Juan Fatt Bidge v BringBack Harbs
I am really going to love playing spoiler to some teams. I would like to dedicate this week's win to all those who actually come to the draft party!!
Oh, what - you have a legitimate excuse? Unless, you were banging out some stress in the bedroom you do not have a legitimate excuse. Actually, I take that back - you can get that finished real quick and maybe miss just a few rounds, well, probably more like just the first round!
Anyways, yes I am going to freakin' win this week! Somebody suggested that I should stop picking myself and I might win. Screw that - in fact I am going to score 150 this week, even with Osweiler at quarterback!!
Prediction: JFB wins!!!
Mizuno Blue v Waco Kids
This is a great matchup for those that are sitting just outside the playoffs. One of these teams is going to win and drastically increase their chances of making it, the other is going to lose and drastically her their chances. In fact, I will say this - whoever loses this matchup will not make the playoffs! You heard it first, if you lose this matchup you will be on the outside looking in!
The Swindler is looking for some big weeks from his big play or bust starters - Hill and Cooper. He also is hoping that the Saints work a constant check-down game between Brees and Ingram! On the flip side, Waco is just trusting the Gurley will do what he has done all season - curb stomp the opponents defense! I am just saying - let's hope your receivers can get a touchdown, if not it may be a struggle!
I think one of them will get a touchdown and you will find yourself squeaking by and looking pretty for the playoffs...
Prediction: Waco Kids wins!!
Hoosier Daddy v Prible is my B*tch
This is another interesting matchup in terms of the playoff race. Both of these teams are sitting just outside the cut line and both have a legitimate chance of making the playoffs. The winner of this matchup has an extremely good chance of moving up and being inside the cut line. The loser? Might as well kiss it good-bye!
Which is why it also extremely unfortunate for PIMB that Elliott is serving his suspension - and there is nothing out there to help him out!! He has a few running backs on his bench, but they are on the bye. Which is why he currently has Jones (doubtful) and McGuire (bye) still in his lineup. Sooooo, he has gone out and grabbed Ekeler and put Richardson in at flex. Those are not bad replacements - but enough to beat Hoosier Daddy? Not sure about that.
Can Kamara really have another big week? If not, can Hopkins continue his success? If not, can Hunt perform up to his standards? If not, can Cousins use his the weapons against New Orleans defense? It just seems like there are too many ways that Hoosier Daddy can score points. It should be a nice boost for H.D. coming down the stretch....
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins!!
Sergio Dippsh*ts v Price is a Dick
Sergio has the type of team that can matchup with anyone on paper - yet somehow they have struggled to score points (except last week). TPIAD is sitting on top of the league and with a win this week they would clinch a playoff spot - although I am sure they are already in. TPIAD is playing for the victory - who wouldn't want to win the regular season?
With so many weapons on TPIAD's side, it will be hard to keep up for Sergio. However, if Thomas has a big week - which he could, or Gordon explodes - remember what happened last week against the Bills defense, now imagine if all of that was from one person! I know that I am probably talking myself into it, but what the hell.....
Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins!!
Certified "G" v The J-Bones
The J-Bones find themselves playing the worst team in the league - in my opinion. This could not come at a better time for The J-Bones. A win would be huge for them. Certified is still technically in the race, but they would need to win out. This would not only be a huge blow to The J-Bones, but also keep Certified "G" in the running.
There are not many bright spots in this matchup. Gronk is good. Thielen has been playing amazing. After that, who? Nelson? Remember, Hundley is now the quarterback. Evans? Coming off suspension and Fitzpatrick is the quarterback - not exactly the gunslinger fantasy owners may want. This is a close matchup, but I am going to go with my gut here....
Prediction: The J-Bones wins!!
Sagging TD's v Aaron Rodgers is GAY
This is an important matchup for one team - the other has a chance to play spoiler (technically still alive in the race, but extremely slim chances).
I am just going to say this, Antonio Brown loves playing when the lights are the brightest. With nobody else playing on Thursday - expect a show. Diggs has slammed back down to earth and returned normalcy. The big question, who is going to replace McCaffrey? He has been playing amazing and it is going to be tough to get those points from someone else.
On the flip side, Taylor has been riding the struggle bus. Parker had a decent game last week - thanks to garbage time. After that? Yuck.
Prediction: Sagging TD's wins!!
Matchup of the Week
John Robles v Dakster's Lab
We all know why this is the matchup of the week, and it has nothing to do with fantasy football. Let the brother battle begin....
QB: Brady and Prescott are good matchup. I like either quarterback here.
RB: Fournette and McKinnon v Howard and Thompson. Once again, a decent matchup. I like Fournette as the top back in this battle royale. Which is why I am giving the edge to Mr. Robles.
WR: Woods and Lockett v Jackson and Lee. Honestly, these are a bunch of receivers that extremely low-end plays at the beginning of the season. Yet, somehow all four are starting - and one of them lead all point scorers last week! Has the well run dry with Bobby Woods? Time will tell my friend, time will tell.
TE: Hooper v Davis. Hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - who knows, neither are top end tight ends. Either could catch a touchdown.
Flex: Murray v Shepard. Murray had the big week last week. Lets hope they continue to feed the rock to Murray. I think this is were the pendulum really starts to swing towards Mr. Robles.
D/ST: Normally, I don't write about this. However, Dak has a pretty decent advantage in this area. His defense is going against Savage at quarterback - I would really like to see Arizona turn up the pressure and get after him.
K: Don't know, don't care
I just hope that there is some kind of side bet between these two - we know the eldest is up for something!
Prediction: John Robles wins
Mwah
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