One example, after Juan Fatt Bidge was essentially eliminated I made a joke, "Who wants Le'Veon Bell?" When in all reality, I would never actually do that. You can't just trade away players just because you are eliminated. This is one of the reasons why a keeper league is very important. Players can trade away players at that point - for other players and maybe even next year's draft picks. It turns into an actual dynasty league - which is really cool.
Our league is not currently a keeper league - but we will be hopefully starting a keeper league in the near future! Although, that would mean that we would need our owner's to actually be active. That would be an issue for one of our teams...
Team of the Week: Prible is my B*tch
First off, I love the team name. I think you have to send a message to your fellow opponents. You know, let them know. In fact, you should really take your team name to heart and force him to hold your pocket in the hallways. If you don't understand that - you haven't lived! Or you haven't gone to jail, either way.
Secondly, I would like to congratulate Nick for being the owner of the Team of the Week. Good Job little buddy! If you would like to pass the word on to your father that you have won this prestigious award, please do!
Thirdly, how can a team full of "people beaters" still be in the playoff push? Well, Elliott has yet to actually be suspended. He was a women beater - allegedly. Green was not suspended. He was a player beater - everyone saw it on national television. Gordon was just re-instated. He was a weed beater - no "weed bud" around him had a chance of surviving.
Fourthly, I have thought of some new names for you....
Meat Beaters
Elliott uses his Powell against women
Suck it Goodell
Nick's Team
Just a few options for you - let me know if you like any!
On to what you really came here for....
Juan Fatt Bidge v Sergio Dippsh*ts
Everybody loves a good bottom - why not two? Which one will penetrate to the top?
Quarterback: It is interesting that both quarterbacks are playing each other on Monday night. Newton gets the advantage - solely based on his rushing yards. The past four weeks Newton has rushed on average for 63 yards a game - not bad for a quarterback!
Running Backs: Do we need to even look at this? McCoy and Bell are the best tandem running backs on any team. The crazy part? Since acquiring Bell, JFB is just 1-3 (turns out the trade wasn't really that lopsided)! Nonetheless, anybody would be out of their mind to think that Bell and McCoy do not have the advantage.
Wide Receivers: Hilton and Cupp v Thomas and Fuller. At this point in the season, who knows? Hilton is a boom or bust player and Cupp is mediocre at best. Fuller was dominate, until Savage took over. Thomas could have a big week - but they are not at home and everybody knows how the Saint struggle in away games.
TE: I personally would take Kroft over Graham. Graham has to play on Thursday night and is against the Cardinals. It just does not look like a good matchup for him.
Flex: Let's just hope that JuJu doesn't lose his bike and can stay fresh for this weeks game!
Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins (and doesn't lose for the rest of the season)
Aaron Rogers is GAY v Mizuno Blue
Those who have been swindled look for revenge. Payback is coming!
QB: I would take Taylor. Once again, the quarterbacks are facing each other. I love that. I mean can you imagine if these two were watching this game together - how much fun would that be? By the way, everybody knows where the place to watch the games - come on over! Yes, that is correct I just invited everybody over to a place that is not mine - but hey why not have one week when we all watch some football together!
RB: Honestly, a coin flip. Gore is running well - but Mack is much more explosive in Indy. Ingram is one of those running backs that could go for 130 yards or for 20 yards. You just never know in the Saints offense. Prosise is in the same situation with Seattle. White is going against the Denver defense - which used to be a defense to avoid, not so much anymore.
WR: The advantage has to go ARIG, solely because Tate is playing Cleveland and that could mean big points. Funchess looks to be embracing the role of the number 1 receiver in Carolina. Then you have the fun matchup of Stills v Parker. Both players are on the same team - who will Cut-e-ler prefer?
TE: Well, Howard scored negative points last week. Sadly, I hate to say this but "The Syndrome" is actually favorited.
Flex: Hurns gets the nod here. Mizuno is trying to copy Waco Kids and go with two tight ends - however Clay and Syndrome are not Kelce and Witten.
Prediction: Aaron Rogers is GAY wins
Waco Kids v Hoosier Daddy
Top Dog versus Top Points. Who is the Top Gun?
QB: Even though Cousins looked bad last week - I am taking him. He is home this week, and to be honest I really can not trust Mutant Ninja Bortles.
RB: I have to give the edge to Waco and it is solely for one player. Todd Gurley II. He could beat both Crowell and Kamara on his own. Although, Kamara could have another big week - it all just depends on what running back the Saint pick that week.
WR: I know Savage is throwing the ball. However, I still Hopkins gives the edge to Hoosier Daddy. Sanders will more than likely struggle this week - Denver as whole look very far away from the Super Bowl contenders they once were. Sanu and Landry could score points - but who knows? It is amazing to me that three different Dolphins wide outs are in fantasy starting lineups.
TE: I will take Witten on Brate every day. Once again, Witten is the all-time leading receiver in Dallas Cowboy history. That is to say something about the consistency of this man. Forget Larry Bird, this The Great White Hope!
Flex: Both these flex positions are impossible to predict. Both have new quarterbacks, which is why I am giving the nod to the running back and not the wide receiver.
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy (not super confident)
Prible is my B*tch v BringBack Harbs
Girl Beatings, Player Beatings, Meat Beatings - why the last one?
QB: PIMB has Mariota on the bench. Mariota is playing against Cincy. Cincy is a bad football team. Mariota gets the nod.
RB: Honestly, no clue how to break this one down. No ones knows what is going to happen with Elliott - he could be ruled to play this week and then two days later find out he isn't playing. If Elliott does play, advantage PIMB - if he doesn't play advantage PIMB. Listen, whether or not Elliott plays - PIMB still has Powell, Forte, Jones (GB running back), Mack (Indy running back) - all worthy options are scoring more than Stewart scored last week. How many did Stewart score last week? -1.9 - oh and that was not his first time scoring negative points!
WR: I am baffled at how someone can choke someone, throw them to the ground, and punch them repeatedly and still play the next week. I know football is a physical sport - but this ain't the UFC. Purely for that reason, I will give the edge to BringBack Harbs. Jewel-io, as only his close friends can call him, has yet to have that one game where he explodes for nearly 5,000 yards. Maybe this is the week?
TE: This matchup will be Engram v The outlaw Jesse James. Since taking over the role, Engram has not scored less than 15 points. He is the number 1 receiving option in New York (both teams). He is the clear favorite!
Flex: I have no clue what BringBack Harbs will do with his flex position - he may be shuffling around his lineup to better fit hide the bye week players and get better receivers in his lineup. I am going to have faith that he will find a way to win this portion of the matchup. He could throw Cooks or Benjamin in there and I think he would win. The choice is yours!
Prediction: Prible is my B*tch wins (I am going to assume Elliott is playing)
Team Price is a Dick v Certified "G"
Poverty takes on the 1% - which way will the money drop?
QB: What a wonderful matchup of top tier quarterbacks we have here! Manning v McCown. I tell you what - both of these guys have plenty of options to throw the ball to! Let me just flip a coin, because both of these guys are going to dominate!! Truth be told, they both suck. I will give the edge to McCown.
RB: Apparently, Hyde is not hurt. Some would have thought that after is mini slump in the early portion of the season. Peterson has found an offensive line to run behind. Those two should very easily beat Mixon and Drake. Very Easily.
WR: Bryant and Baldwin v Nelson and Jones Jr. This is a good matchup - but the edge goes to Bryant and Baldwin. Nelson, who has nobody throwing to him, is missing his good friend Rogers. Jones Jr. never has two good games in a row - not even in high school. You see, that is funny because Jones Jr. just had two good games. You see what I did there? Just jokes, people, just jokes.
TE: This is the week that Walker begins to showcase his dominance over the position. I have seen his face in enough Army commercials - it is time to play football. Gronk you find another party to attend to you - but you ain't showing up to this weeks!
Flex: Thomas v Williams. I am actually going to give the edge to Thomas. I know that there is a new quarterback in town. However, I think that when a new quarterback steps-in their go-to guy is usually the number 1 receiver. Also, Thomas is a great route runner and screen pass-catcher, both of which can help a new quarterback.
Prediction: Team Price is a Dick wins
The J-Bones v John Robles
One team owner hates his team. One team owner is always over confident. The battle begins...
QB: Brady never ages. I swear that guy is doing something illegal. Dalton is having one of the worst statistical seasons of his career. Brady get the advantage.
RB: Fournetteflix and Chill gives J.R. the clear advantage hear. Let's just hope he can make to all the team meetings on time and be an all around good citizen this week. Freeman seems to have joined a timeshare and it is not in his favor. Abdullah looks good - when he is not in the redzone.
WR: The Mike Evans suspension really hurts The J-Bones this week. Thielen could have a good week and that could be enough to get the edge here. Goodwin is now the number 1 receiver in San Fran. - but it is San Fran. Lockett is speedy, but he plays on Thursday. I am giving the edge to J-Boner.
TE: Dickson v Hooper. Neither find themselves as viable top tier tight ends. However, Carolina has no true dominant receiver. Dickson gets the edge.
Flex: Matthews gets the edge over Darkwa. Although, I do love the name Darkwa and I feel like it should be the name of a bar drink. You know, "I will take a pint of Darkwa." Just rolls off the tongue.
Prediction: John Robles wins
Two new kids on the block. Only room for one - who will survive?
QB: Once again, how cool is it that the quarterbacks are facing each other. Prescott has the ability to run and throw. Ryan likes to throw. Prescott still has yet to taste a deep run in the playoffs, Ryan is hungover from last year. I give the edge to Prescott.
RB: McCaffrey has found his role in the Carolina offense. He could be very dominate in the Monday Night Game. However, Howard and Miller both get the start and if Fournette plays, he is the clear starter over Ivory. Edge to Dakster.
WR: Diggs and Brown hands down. This is where Sagging TD's could win the entire matchup. Brown is going against Indy's defense - what happen the last time? Brown had three touchdowns. Clearly, the edge goes to Sagging.
TE: Rudolph gets the advantage. Vikings are coming off of a bye week, plenty of rest time for Rudolph. Bennett has Hundley throwing to him.
Flex: Thompson over Gabriel all day. Thompson is pretty much a starting running back in fantasy football. Give him the edge.
Prediction: Dakster's Lab wins
I hope you enjoyed your movie tag-lines for the matchups!
Mwah
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