If watching 8 different screens sounds tough enough by itself - let's not forget that there are a few drinks that are being consumed throughout the afternoon. I am not talking about orange juice or milk - we are talking adult libations. Usually, I will reach a certain point where I begin to throw ridiculous ideas. Every so often, one idea sticks - and we have a debate about whether that is actually possible or not. Here are a few of them....
1. With a year of training, I could start in the WNBA.
2. With a year of training, I could beat Frank Gore in a 5-mile race.
3. With two years of training, I could make past stage 1 on American Ninja Warrior.
There are others - but thing is, I can't remember them, I guess that happens when you are slightly inebriated. Let's break these thoughts down....
1. WNBA Challenge....
First, I would like to state that I am 6'4" and that does matter for this specific challenge. Yes, I would not be the biggest athlete in the WNBA - nor the biggest male athlete, let us not forget about Britney Griner. However, after a year of training I could very easily become one of the strongest/athletic players in the WNBA. We must remember, men's bodies are built differently. That is not just a chauvinistic statement - that is scientific fact.
Secondly, there would be players that are better. That is one fact that I will not debate - however, I could very easily become a double-double player day in and day out. I fairly positive that stat line would earn me a starting position. Let's break it down even further...
Sylvia Fowles (WNBA MVP) is 6'5" and weighs 201 pounds. She is 32 years old and won the WNBA MVP award in 2017. Now, if I were to walk into a WNBA facility right now (without my year of training) I would be very similar to the same body frame as Fowles. After one year of training I would be able to out jump her and have more strength than her. There does come a point in basketball when someone can find a role on a team based purely on athleticism.
2. Frank Gore race...
This one is a little different basis on my statement. Frank Gore is a great athlete - I am never going to argue that. However, he is not an endurance runner. Gore has trained his body to take hits from linebackers and lineman and freight trains. I will not be spending my year of training do that. Instead, I will solely focused on training my endurance and my ability to run 5-miles at the fastest time possible.
Many runners argue whether or not Usain Bolt could run one mile in 5:30. Yes, that is still very fast. However, the disagreement is in his stamina and if he could hold that pace for just one mile. If he were forced to 5 miles (with no additional training) he may average 7:00 to 7:30 pace - if not higher. Without any training, it is much harder for ones body to adjust between two different athletic events.
3. Ninja Warrior....
To me, and this may sound crazy, this is the most unlikely challenge. I do think I could do it - especially since I would get two years to train. Remember, I am 6'4" so many of the qualifying events would not pose as big of a threat as many would think. The issue would be when I have to go against consecutive hanging obstacles. However, most of the time many of those obstacles (which are back to back) don't come until the city finals and Las Vegas finals.
Some of the obstacles I would be facing: quintuple steps, log roll, jumping spider, some sort of balance obstacle, another bouncing/balance obstacle, and the warped wall.
Now, please remember that I only said pass the city qualifying course. I just have to make the top 30, I don't have to beat the course. Although, I am fairly positive that the warped wall could easily be beaten by someone with my height and two years of training. The issue that would be extremely difficult for me - no matter how much training - would be the balance obstacles. Sometimes those take out even the best American Ninja Warriors. So yes, there is a chance of someone losing whether they are extremely good or just some business teacher.
My argument is really more based on the fact that I believe in two years of training I could be proficient enough at the obstacles that I could complete every obstacle. Then I would just need to avoid the accidental mistake. I believe that anyone with dedication and commitment can prepare themselves to do anything in two years. So yes, ANW here I come in 2019!
Now, to what you really care about....
Juan Fatt Bidge (2-8) 124
Sergio Dippsh*ts (3-7) 128.4
Words can not describe the frustration this week has provided. It has happened again, Sergio has now just scored his highest season total - in fact in every single matchup this season (his score and his opponent's) only one person has beaten his score this week. Congrats, super happy for you Sergio - although we are both out of the playoffs, you have avoided the bottom of the league. What can I say? I do love being on the bottom!
Result: Sergio Dippsh*ts wins
Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins.... WRONG!!
Aaron Rodgers is GAY (4-6) 83.1
Mizuno Blue (6-4) 135.6
What a big week for Mizuno Blue - scoring the highest score of anyone. On the flip side, ARIG scored the lowest point total this week.
It is like Mizuno Blue's players are afraid of being traded. They must perform every week other wise "The Swindler" might send them packing. Maybe a strategy every owner should look into - I mean Montgomery was so afraid he was going to get traded that he made sure he scored a touchdown before getting injured.
In the quarterback matchup Brees won, however in the game - Ingram stole the show. Well actually, the entire Saints' backfield stole the show. Who would have thought the Saints are able to go away from home and run the ball all over the field? Historically, the Saints have been the team that struggle in away games. Historically, Brees throws the ball all over the place. I guess there is a reason why it is historically and not presently!
Result: Mizuno Blue wins
Prediction: ARIG wins.... WRONG!!
Waco Kids (6-4) 118.2
Hoosier Daddy (5-5) 126
I believe that this was a preview of a future playoff matchup, dare I say championship matchup?
I must give props to Burkhead as a great decision to play. It is really unfortunate that Kamara had himself a big day - thanks to the Saints deciding to run the ball the entire game. It is amazing that Hoosier Daddy had four positions score 6 points or less and still managed to score 126 points. I know other owners will be very upset if he makes the playoffs.
Overall, and hard fought battle and one that I believe we will see again in the future!!
Result: Hoosier Daddy wins
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins...RIGHT!!
Prible is my B*tch (5-5) 88.3
BringBack Harbs (6-4) 87
It is incredibly frustrating that someone is going to be a considered a winner in this matchup! Nonetheless, you only have to beat the person that is in front of you - and PIMB did just that. It was extremely close and it is a shame, a damn shame, that the Dolphins got blown out - had that not been the case Stewart would have more than likely been given enough touches to swing the pendulum the other way.
However, what a good win for a team that was so reliant on one player (Elliott). You managed to really make up for that loss with Powell and Jones - I mean 4.8 points is untouchable. Way to go big guy!! Hey, wait a second - is this the 2nd week in a row that PIMB has started 2 Jets' running backs? I believe it is! Last week it was Powell and Forte and this week is was Powell and McGuire. I think he is on to something. If you any bit of superstitious, you need to continue to start two Jets' running backs!!
Result: PIMB wins
Prediction: PIMB wins....RIGHT!!
Team Price is a Dick (7-3) 91.6
Certified "G" (4-6) 83.2
I have to admit, I am pulling for TPIAD to win the entire league. Why? Considering four of those positions were once mine - I have to root for that team! I do find it ironic that everyone was stating how badly TPIAD got screwed when he traded away Bell and yet here he is bringing in another win. Baldwin, Walker, and Hyde all in the top four point getters for TPIAD - you are welcome!
Certified - you are getting close to joining myself and Sergio in the elimination ring. You need to win out and then you need some teams to lose, yours chance are not good - but they are better than mine!!
Result: TPIAD wins
Prediction: TPIAD wins...RIGHT
The J-Bones (5-5) 108.2
John Robles (5-5) 126.3
Who would have thought that Bobby Woods would score the most points of any starting player this week? Unreal. "Hooked on a Thielen" has at least been consistent enough to merit his explosion. However, if you take a deeper look at Woods - in the two games after the bye week, he has 4 touchdowns, 12 receptions, 240 yards. That is not bad at all. Can he keep it up? I will say this, if he does - Robles will be finding themselves sitting pretty in the playoffs!!
Also, I would like make note of the fact that my favorite bar drink - a pint of Darkwa - did have a decent week. Way to go buddy!!
Result: John Robles wins
Prediction: John Robles wins...RIGHT!!
Dakster's Lab (6-4) 89.1
Sagging TD's (6-4) 91.7
I would like to apologize to both of these teams. Somehow, I forgot to have there prediction titled with their team names. For that I am sorry!!
For your performances - you both should apologize! Antonio Brown had 7 points against the Colts defense? A defense that just lost their best secondary defender! C'mon on man, you are lucky the rest of team picked up the slack and did your job for you.
On the flip side, Dak is going to need to score more points than that if he wants to even make the playoffs! How did Howard only score 5 points against the Packers? No Beuno.
Result: Sagging TD's wins
Prediction: Dakster Lab wins...WRONG!!
This Week: 4-3
Season: 36-34
Competitor Week: 3-4
Competitor Season: 34-36
Mwah
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