On the flip side, we have teams jostling in and out of the playoff picture all season long. Yes, we have had our teams that were constantly at the bottom - those are like the women trying to make it big in NASCAR. I just want to yell out, "Listen ladies, it ain't going to happen!" Same to you Sagging TD's, Col. Erran Morad, and Mike McCarthy is Gay! These teams were all knocked out of the playoff pictures weeks ago - yet in the past three weeks two of these teams have managed to beat another team in the playoff push.... crush those dreams boys!!!
Then you also have your teams that have been locked in the playoffs for essentially midway through the season (Hernandez Hit Men, Steady Diet, White Condomints) - these are the top dogs of NASCAR the Earnhardts, Stewarts, and Gordons. But the racers, the ones trying to make the postseason - that is where the fun is at...
1. Hernandez Hit Men - 100%
Hernandez Hit Men have looked dominate all the way through the season. They also are virtually a lock for the title of Regular Season Champs. The only way they can lose that spot, IF....
Hernandez Hit Men lose, White Condomints wins - and WC outscores HHM by 90 points.
It has been a good run for HHM and he did all by never trading a single player.
"X" Factor: Melvin Gordon's injury
2. White Condomints - 100%
White Condomints is known around many circles as the "Crooked Commissioner" - old "Double C" some of his friends call him. Yet, he hasn't broken any rules? Odd, to call someone crooked if they have done anything wrong? Anywho, White Condomint has virtually locked himself into 2 seed in the playoffs - he can move up with the above scenario and he can move down by.....
White Condomints loses, Steady Diet wins and outscores WC by 95 points.
It has been a good run for WC, last year the trades didn't work in his favor - this year they did (I guess it is your turn next year Nut Boy)!
"X" Factor: Quarterback decisions and outcomes
3. Steady Diet - 100%
Steady Diet has looked better as we enter the final regular season week. The injury to AJ Green has really destroyed his wide receiving corps - nonetheless he still does tout players who at any given moment can score 40+ points. Steady Diet has had the most 40 point performances, with 4 (the rest of the league combined had 2). Steady Diet also put up the 2nd most 30 point performances - second only to Hernandez Hit Men. Steady Diet is locked into the playoffs - but could lose his position at number 3, IF
Steady Diet loses, Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood wins and outscores SD by 13 points.
4. Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood - 100%
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood has looked good and much of that is thanks to his risky decision to take Saquon Barkley with the 7th overall pick. The rookies has performed above expectations, performing as the current 3rd player overall. Barkley is the 2nd overall running back, behind Gurley. This was a risky decision that has panned out extremely well - guess you didn't need to make a trade with Dez Nuts after all! Mr. Rodgers is guaranteed a playoff spot, but he could move up or down....
Up, IF...
Steady Diet loses, Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood wins and outscores SD by 13 points.
Down, IF....
Rodgers Neighborhood loses, and WeinerLover wins and outscores him by 86 points or if PIMB wins and outscores him by 79 points
"X" Factor: Saquon Barkley continuing this type of performance
5. Prible is my B*tch - 100%
PIMB clenched their playoff berth with last week's win over WeinerLover. This roster looks extremely good on paper - having two of the top tier wide receivers and also one of the most surprising rookies running backs (Lindsay). However, the biggest surprise is the FLEX play of Tyler Boyd. Boyd was added from the waivers by PIMB and is currently the 15 ranked wide receiver. With the combination of Boyd and Lindsay (who was also added from waivers and is currently the 11 ranked running back) PIMB might have just earned themselves the "Waiver Watcher" badge. They are locked in the playoffs, but their position can jostle....
Up, IF
PIMB wins, Rodgers Neighborhood loses and PIMB outscores RN by 79 points and also is not outscored by a winning WeinerLover.
Down, IF
PIMB loses, WeinerLover wins or outscores PIMB by 8 points
or
PIMB loses, Dez Nuts wins and outscores PIMB by 40 points
"X" Factor: Lindsay and Boyd continuing their above and beyond play
6. OSCARMEYER WEINERLOVER - 100%
Weinerlover has gone through the most team name changes - and who could fault them? It is never a good thing when your first team name change is to "I AM STUPID." WeinerLover was apart of the trade that almost separated The Beatles; the trade that was the reason for WWII; the trade that cause the Rocky v Drago fight; the trade that sent many single mothers, working third shift into a downward spiral towards the pit of Hell. The Trade will always be remembered - yet somehow WeinerLover was able to recover and still swindle his way into the playoffs, but he still can move around....
Up, IF....
WeinerLover wins, Rodgers Neighborhood loses and WeinerLover outscores RN by 86 points, and also outscores PIMB by 8 points
or
WL wins, PIMB loses
or
WL wins, PIMB wins - but WL outscores PIMB by 8 points
Down, IF....
WL loses, Dez Nuts wins - and outscores WL by 30 points
"X" Factor: A healthy Gronk
7. Team Dez Nuts - 40%
Team Dez Nuts finds himself in a interesting position. Currently, sitting inside the playoff cut-off but not by a favorable margin of any means. Team Dez Nuts made a few gigantic trades - some not in his favor. Many people will point to the trade made with White Condomints, however the trade was not as slanted as you might think....
Brown v JuJu - 224 points (Brown) and 209 points (JuJu)
Luck v Hunt - 240 points (Luck) and 230 points (Hunt)
Gronk/Thompson v Ingram - 104 points (Gronk/Thompson) and 98 points (Ingram)
Doesn't seem that uneven to me - but hey, that is just one guy's opinion.
Dez Nuts is in the playoffs now - but that could change this week....
In, IF....
Team Dez Nuts wins
or
Team Dez Nuts loses and....
2 of the following teams win - Hoosier Daddy, Trashmen, Grau's Beeyatch
These three teams and and Team Dez Nuts would then be in a tie and it would come down to points.
Dez Nuts is trailing both Hoosier Daddy and Trashmen in points - but only by 8 points.
"X" Factor: Dez Nuts is going to need some big point this week - a win is not looking likely against HHM
8. Hoosier Daddy - 35%
Hoosier Daddy has been in the middle of the pack the entire season - mainly because of the up and down play of Mike Evans. Todd Gurley is the best running back in the NFL and Hoosier Daddy has been enjoying the steady play. However, Evans' performance has fluctuated and with it - so did Hoosier Daddy's performance.
Hoosier Daddy is currently the last team to make the playoffs, but there is a possibility he could find himself on the outside looking in - or moving up to avoid Hernandez Hit Men.
Up, IF....
Hoosier Daddy wins and Team Dez Nuts loses and HD doesn't get outscored by Nuts by 8 points.
Down, IF....
Hoosier Daddy wins and can not win the tie breaker between Team Dez Nuts and a winning Trashmen and Grau's Beeyatch.
or
Hoosier Daddy loses and Trashmen and Grau's Beeyatch win
or
Hoosier Daddy loses and can not win the tie breaker between a losing Trashmen and Grau's Beeyatch
"X" Factor: Mike Evans
9. The Trashmen - 30%
The Trashmen find themselves just outside the playoffs, but only by 1 point. The Trashmen have lived off of the play of Davante Adams and Zach Ertz. Both players are on respective teams that have constantly found themselves playing catchup - which is good for the receiving threats. This week The Trashmen have a good matchup - but they do not control their own destiny....
In, IF....
The Trashmen win, Hoosier Daddy wins but Trashmen outscore HD by 2 points
The Trashmen lose, Hoosier Daddy lose by Trashmen outscore HD by 2 point
The Trashmen win, Hoosier Daddy lose
"X" Factor: Adams and Ertz
10. Grau's Beeyatch - 20%
Grau's Beeyatch has been leaning heavily on his tandem of Cowboys players Elliott and Cooper. Cooper had a huge game last week - which was perfect timing for Grau's Beeyatch. Elliott has been steady all season long, but this week he is needed more than ever.
In, IF....
Grau's Beeyatch win, The Trashmen and Hoosier Daddy lose
Grau's Beeyatch win, The Trashmen and Hoosier Daddy win - but Grau's Beeyatch outscores them by 30 points
Grau's Beeyatch lose, The Trashmen and Hoosier Daddy lose and Grau's Beeyatch outscore both them and The J-Bones
"X" Factor: Cooper having another big week!
11. The J-Bones - 10%
Even after a big loss last week - which really hurt the chances of The Jones to make the playoffs, he still has a chance. He will be relying on James Conner - the running back who was once traded for Jimmy Graham - and his continual play to carry the heavy lifting. With Conner leading the way, the supportive cast is going to have to perform well. There is still a chance for The J-Bones to make the playoffs - albeit by a slim margin....
In, IF....
The J-Bones win (which means that Grau's Beeyatch lost) and...
The Trashmen and Hoosier Daddy lose and The J-Bones outscore both teams by 3 points.
Luck would have it that Hoosier Daddy is matched up against PIMB and is projected to lose that matchup. The J-Bones are going to be watching Col. Erran Morad's team closely as he need Morad to pull off the upset and beat The Trashmen.
"X" Factor: Col. Erran Morad and Prible is my B*tch
All other teams will be working to try and beat these teams - I highly encourage you to attempt to ruin someone's season!
Be on the lookout for this week's predictions!
Mwah
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