There once was a man who was STUPID
He left his room to get rid of some fluid
His computer was open
He left his team for some grope'n
After he was done and a little bit leaner
He returned, only to find out he is a lover of wiener
His new name is the reason
He will be in the postseason
With that, if you have not heard - you may want to protect your belongings when a shadow is lurking. There was a team name change this week, and it may or may not have been done by someone other than the team's GM. Nonetheless, the owner kept the team name and went on to dominate this week - looks like it is going to stick!
White Condomints (9-1) v UrBlogIsWeak SucItAtkins (3-7)
All I am saying is, I expect a team name change in the near future. The acceptable team names....
1. MineTeamIsWeak SucItMe
2. 13 Reasons Why My Team Sucks
3. More-is is not always Better
4. Richard Inmee
5. Grau's B
Make it happen!
Result: White Condomints wins
Prediction: White Condomints wins...RIGHT
Competitor's Prediction: White Condomints wins....RIGHT
The J-Bones (5-5) v Col. Erran Morad (3-7)
Well, well - looks like we have new GM that is sick and tired of his team absolutely sucking and he is looking to make a late season run at the playoffs...
Col. Morad made a statement this week, in a big way. With Fournette returning, this team has a legitimate running back - which crucial in this point of the season. Robinson and Davis (WR) has big games - which may not be able to be relied upon, but hey - who is going to turn down more points? This is the time of the year when Big Ben really turns it on, and he might be the steadiest player in this entire lineup. If Col. Morad can sneak into the playoffs they will be looking to knock off a giant in round one.
The J-Bones really needed this win, as they were sitting just inside the playoff cut-line. Now they will be just outside the playoff line and will continue to fight for their postseason lives. With the great decision to trade Bell (it looks like he will not be reporting/did not report), he was only hurt by Kupp's injury on Sunday. Kupp was the only real benefit of that trade as The J-Bones already had Conner, Coleman, and Mack - although two out of three had an off week. In fact everyone for The J-Bones had an off week, hopefully they are saving up their big performances for a week that is really important...
Result: Col. Erran Morad wins
Prediction: The J-Bones....WRONG
Competitor's Prediction: The J-Bones....WRONG
Prible is my B*tch (5-5) v Sagging TD's (1-9)
Well, there is no surprise here. Although, I really would have guessed a little more production from PIMB - but all you can ask is that you beat the person you are playing that week.
This matchup had the two lowest scores of the week, luckily PIMB was playing Sagging TD's. Now, to be fair - there was not much Sagging TD's had on the bench that he could replace players with. Not to say he could have looked through the waiver wire and found someone suitable to play. It is just difficult to watch this train wreck continue to happen - it burns my eyes and my face feels like it is constantly squinting in pain every time I look at this lineup. Please fix it. Please take pride these last weeks of the regular season. Please embrace the role of spoiler and try to knock someone out of the playoffs!
PIMB - you are one lucky S.O.B. With no real production outside of Jones and Beckham, you would have lost to everybody else. However, now you have survived your big bye-week and can work on securing your spot in the postseason.
Result: Prible is my B*tch wins
Prediction: Prible is my B*tch wins....RIGHT
Competitor's Prediction: Prible is my B*tch wins....RIGHT
Team Dez Nuts (4-6) v Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (6-4)
Looks like my gift to Team Dez Nuts just keep on coming. I will promise to pick your opponent every time next year - if you win out the rest of the regular season.
Don't look now, here come a pair of nuts! The lineup from Dez Nuts looks very well rounded and balanced, even Yeldon was able to score some points with the return of Fournette. This type of production won't be consistent, but also remember the Smith-Schuster only played three quarters and Kelce will score more than 10.6 points on a regular basis. The team could easily find themselves in the 120's if they are able to find a defense that can compliment the rest of the team.
How does Barkley only score 14 points - on one the best offensive nights for the Giants! Talk about a waste of a performance from Bortles - that will never happen again, nor will it be needed. Mr. Rodgers has hit a skid late in the season and need to turn things around quickly - or they will limp into the playoffs and quickly get put down like a shelter dog!
Result: Team Dez Nuts wins
Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins....WRONG
Competitors Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins....WRONG
The Trashmen (5-5) v Hoosier Daddy (5-5)
This was a crazy matchup and one that belonged to one person.... Zach Ertz. The SNF game was one that Hoosier Daddy wishes never took place.
There are good tight ends, and then there is Zach Ertz. Ertz had 14 catches for 145 yards and 2 touchdowns. Let's put this in perspective...
Ertz outperformed M. Thomas last week, who had over 200 yards receiving.
Ertz outperformed T. Hill in week 6, who had 146 yards and 3 touchdowns.
There is only one player in the league to outperform Ertz - Alvin Kamara (who did it twice).
This is unfamiliar territory for a TE.
Not that Hoosier Daddy can really complain, but his J-E-T-S defense had do idea how to stop the Bills offense. Gurley and Wilson can only do so much - they are going to need help from some other position. Evans - all eyes are on you buddy! Fitzpatrick was able to throw for 406 yards and Evans only managed 8.1 points. This is not a good look, not a good look at all!
Result: The Trashmen win
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins....WRONG
Competitors Prediction: The Trashmen win....RIGHT
Mike McCarthy is Gay (2-8) v OSCARMEYER WEINERLOVER (6-4)
Well, well, well - looks like WeinerLover found himself a roster! David Johnson has quietly put together a decent season with a big performance this week, he should find himself easily inside the top ten at the running back position. This huge week, and multiple other players out performing their expectations - WeinerLover has put together a week that will put him in the record books at 3rd place over the course of this league's lifetime! This is a huge accomplishment and many thanks to a certain someone, that has allowed this beautiful league to now add a WeinerLover to our record book.
MMIG really needed this win, they may be right on the brink of mathematical elimination - I will have to survey the landscape, but it isn't looking good. Cooks had a great week and so did the Bills defense - but nothing really came together for MMIG (not that it would have mattered). This was a just a case of bad timing as they ran into a Lover of Weiners and his tremendous score!
Result: OSCARMEYER WEINERLOVER wins
Prediction: OSCARMEYER WEINERLOVER wins....RIGHT
Competitor's Prediction: OSCARMEYER WEINERLOVER wins....RIGHT
Matchup of the Week
Steady Diet (8-2) v Hernandez Hit Men (9-1)
This was the highly touted "Matchup of the Week" and it looks only one team really appreciated the opportunity to appear in it.
QB - Newton v Mahomes
Newton and the Panthers found themselves extremely outmatched in the TNF battle. There was really only one Panther that decided to show-up, we will get to him soon. There was just nothing working for their offense and everything was clicking for the Steelers. On the flip side, Mahomes also had a down week - he only threw for 2 touchdowns and 249 yards. Can you believe that is his down week?
RB - Kamara/Mixon v McCaffrey/Chubb
Prior to the matchup it was originally Kamara/Ekeler, with the change to Mixon I would have thought that the advantage would have been in favor of Kamara/Mixon. Nah, baby, Nah! McCaffrey absolutely exploded on TNF and was the only Panther able to get anything going. He is looking like the "do everything" running back the Panther were expecting. Chubb made his best effort to catch him, as he broke off a 92-yard run midway through the game on Sunday. 72.7 points - this might be the highest total between a running back tandem this year.
WR - Hill/Funchess v Tate/Landry
Hill had a big game, this was needed after a couple weeks of mediocre scoring. The "boom or bust" receiver has the ability to really explode, don't get caught holding the dynamite when it goes off! Tate and Landry had a couple of games that need to be forgotten. Luckily, the running backs were able to carry them to victory and their output was not needed.
TE - Doyle v Ebron
Ebron had this matchup won by the end of the first quarter. He had multiple terrific catches - his first touchdown reception was amazing, especially the run after the catch. In the battle of the Indy TE's Ebron clearly has the upper hand!
FLEX - Ekeler v Gordon
Everybody knew exactly how this matchup was going to finish. Gordon is the workhorse back for LAC and Ekeler is his backup.
The TE and FLEX position consisted on battles between players on the same team at the same position. Both matchups were won by Hernandez Hit Men - looks like someone knows how to tell the difference between a backup and a starter.
DST/K - Redskins/Prater v Falcons/Maher
Redskins and Prater won, mainly due to the fact that the Falcons decided to surprise everyone and not show up on Sunday. It was either the lack of Atlanta's defense or the fact that Baker Mayfield was feeling dangerous, either way - Atlanta scored -2 and the Redskins/Prater won the battle.
Result: Hernandez Hit Men wins, pushing them closer to locking up a regular season title
Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins.....RIGHT
Competitor's Prediction: Steady Diet wins.....WRONG
Overall Record: 31-18
Competitor's Record: 29-20
Mwah
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