Week 8 Results

Well, well, not only has the world turned upside down - but so has the NFL.

You can not say anything to anyone without being insensitive. If a rich white wants to use a popular phrase to describe a situation where NFL players are taking control of the league - then how is that wrong? Personally, I think it is a little racist that the black athletes automatically though McNair was talking about them when he said, "We can't let the inmates run the prison." Maybe, McNair was only referring to the white athletes as prisoners. Maybe, McNair was only referring to the kickers, punters, and quarterbacks - ohhhhh, wait that is the white athletes.

I just think it is a little ridiculous that in today's world any common phrase is now offensive. I think every educated citizen understands exactly what McNair meant when he used that phrase. He was not calling anyone inmates and he was not referring to the NFL as a prison. Clearly, he was stating that as owners in this league - they need to take control.

Oh jeez, I am sorry - I need to apologize to everyone. I just used the term "owners." I understand how this could be offensive to anyone with ancestors who were slaves and once had someone who was referred to as an "owner."

Another example of this is the term - "boner." Boner once meant to make a mistake or to mess up. As in, "that was a real boner move." Yes, my friend you dad had a boner and forgot to wrap it up - thus he had you, his biggest boner in his entire life.

With that, to the results....

Waco Kids (5-3) 129
Sergio Dippsh*ts (2-6) 121.7

I am pretty positive that I am more of a curse than I am anything else. I picked Sergio to win, because he was Team of the Week - and he was winning, by a lot. Until......

Travis Kelce went out on Monday night and put Waco Kids on his back!! Abdullah struggled to replace Gurley (no surprise there). However, Stills and Sanu stepped up and played very well. I must say, I have called out Waco Kids' receivers all season and the one time he needed them - they showed up. Watson is unbelievable and is quietly making the case for the best pickup of the year. Sherman called him a soon to be top-5 quarterback in the NFL - he might be that right now for fantasy football.  The last four weeks he has broken 30 points three times and has thrown for 16 touchdowns. Houston looks to be on a roll and a lot of it has to do with the play of Watson.

On the flip side, the biggest benefactor of Watson playing well is Fuller V. Can we just imagine where this guy would be ranked among receivers if he was suspended for the first three weeks. He is currently tied in the NFL for touchdown receptions (with his teammate Hopkins) and he did not play the first 3 weeks. Melvin Gordon is looking more and more like a one man show for the Chargers. Rivers is getting old and is to busy chasing his 17 kids - nothing else to do but give the ball to Gordon. Nonetheless, even without Gurley....

Result: Waco Kids win

Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts win.....WRONG

Team Price is a Dick (5-3) 87.2

Sagging TD's (4-4) 78.6

Ironically, this is the best possible lineup for TPIAD this week. With 5 players on the bye this week, he only had two other options to play - both of which struggled...

TPIAD just keeps finding ways to get wins. Hey, if you face the guy who scores the lowest that week - odds say that you will win! Obviously, this team will look different after this week - when a majority of their projected starters are done with their bye week. 

Sagging TD's also had 4 players on the bye this week. Although, this loss is probably more related to Tolbert, Griffin, and Gabriel all failing to score 5 points combined. Three times this season Sagging TD's has failed to break 87 points (also three times this week they have nearly topped 130). With such inconsistent performances, this is one team who could beat anybody but also lose to anybody.

Result: TPIAD win

Prediction: TPIAD win... RIGHT

Juan Fatt Bidge (2-6) 89.7

John Robles (4-4) 124.6

What freaking ridiculous week for John Robles?!? Who would have ever though McKinnon would score 26.2, especially after having to play in the London. Somehow, everything fell into place for Mr. Robles...

Brady is always solid and I will only ever surprised if he scores less than 10 points in a given week. Ingram is in an offense that could very easily sit him after one quarter - guess not this week. McKinnon obviously played out of his mind. Funchess was the only real sour spot in this lineup - but that is because Newton played awful, and what do you know? Newton was on my team. Lockett looks like he is the new number 1 receiver in Seattle. Hooper managed to snag a touchdown. Happy for you John Robles, real happy for you!

On the flip side, McCoy was a stud this week. After that, not too pleased. It is not a good sign when Bell only beats your kicker by .1 points. .1 points!!! If JFB is going to win, that can not happen. Also, Hilton is going to need to actually show up and play football every once in a while. He looks like he is just running routes for fun - he has 5 catches in the past three weeks. If he was anybody else he might be dropped. Well, JFB is not mathematically eliminated - but is incredibly doubtful that they will make the playoffs. Which is crazy to think that a team with Bell and McCoy as the running backs will not make the playoffs. Like I said, the world is turning upside down...

Result: John Robles win

Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge win... WRONG

Dakster's Lab (5-3) 95.9

Hoosier Daddy (4-4) 139.2

As I stated in my predictions, one team is trending up and one team is trending down. It is not really Dakster's fault - Hoosier Daddy probably has the best team.

Hoosier Daddy has arguably the top receiver and the top running back. Along with those two, he also has a decent supporting cast. Hopkins has turned into an absolute beast, and it is all thanks to the probable rookie of the year. However, if there was a contender for rookie of the year - Hunt is throwing his name in the ring. Think about this... Hunt had his worse week in fantasy and Hoosier Daddy still scored 139 points - scary.

On the flip side, Dakster looked mediocre, definitely not like a team that is 5-3. But hey, it is all good - Dakster is only getting beat by 80 points over the course of the season. I guess when they lose, they lose big and when they win, they win small. My momma always taught me to say something nice... at least Dakster has good running backs!

Result: Hoosier Daddy win

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy win... RIGHT

Aaron Rodgers is Gay (3-5) 98.7

BringBack Harbs (6-2) 119.2

Hey, at least you were in the bottom of the scores this week ARIG!

It was a pretty good, consistent week for ARIG. However, nobody scored big and sometimes that is what it is going to take to win. With 6 players scoring 12 points or more - you have decent lineup, however - in order to complete you will need a player or two that goes for 20 points of more.

Wilson was that guy for BringBack. He finally showed up and had a good week, no thanks to the offensive line. The best thing for Wilson fantasy owner's has to be the abysmal running game in Seattle. Seriously, they have three running backs and can not seem to find one that is worth anything. Maybe, just stick with one running back and let them get into a rhythm? But hey, that is just one man's opinion - maybe you throw ball at the 1 yard line and lose the Super Bowl, but like I said - just one man's opinion. 

Result: BringBack Harbs win

Prediction: BringBack Harbs win... RIGHT

Prible is my Bitch (3-5) 118

Certified "G" (3-5) 132.6

What an unfortunate week for PIMB. Seriously, could not have gone worse for them.

First, they play arguable the worst team in our league and yet Certified scores over 130 out of nowhere. Good for you Certified "G." This is what is often referred to as winning the lottery. It will only happen once in a lifetime and now you have to figure out what to do with it.

Second, the suspension was upheld for Elliott and he may not play until December. This is all but a death blow to PIMB - not sure they can make a run at the playoffs without Elliott. Which is also incredibly ridiculous in its own right. How is a player suspended for something that they were not found guilty of committing. Let me give you an example...

Could I suspend a student for supposedly throwing something in my class. No? But wait, hold on, what I took it to a court and they decided that he was innocent and didn't throw the paper wad - could I suspend him then? No? Hmmm, something seems off. Okay, what if they challenge and get the suspensions delayed/appealed twice - could I still suspend him? No, I still can't? Then why is Elliott getting suspended for something that the courts could not even find him guilty of? It seems to me that Goodell is just trying to save face and make sure that he didn't go through this entire mess for nothing - even if nothing is the wrong option.

Result: Certified "G" win

Prediction: Prible is my Bitch win - nobody was picking Certified "G" before this week

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (5-3) 84.4

Mizuno Blue (5-3) 81.9

What are real shootout we had here!!!! Points everywhere - it was like an Oprah show and she was just giving out cars (except cars are points)....

Or it was the exact opposite...

Just think about this, in the matchup there 4 "players" who score zero points in the starting lineup. The J-Bones better send Thielen some more gold gloves for the following weeks. I will not bring up Miller and how unlucky he is - especially considering he may lose his leg all together. Yes, he had to go into emergency surgery to try and save his leg. Guess The J-Bones will be looking for a new tight end - that or roll with the vaulted O'leary (Buffalo tight end).

On the flip side, Mizuno Blue needs to have a little talk with Pryor and let him know that he is the number 1 receiver in Washington and not Boston Clam Crowder. Let's not fool ourselves though - Mizuno has scored the 2nd fewest points this season. Yet once again, he still has a winning record and could have been tied for first in the league if Pryor would have recorded a catch or two. The world is upside down.

Result: The J-Bones win

Prediction: The J-Bones win... RIGHT

Mwah

This Week: 4-3

Season: 29-27

Competitor Week: 3-4

Competitor Season: 26-30

Week 8 Predictions

Week 8 Predictions

Disclaimer: This post was also written on an iPad, thus there will be no pictures included since it did not work for the last post. I appreciate your understanding....

Also, I would like to state that I am currently poolside at a resort in Florida. As my good friend once asked me, "What are all the poor people doing?" I don't know Ruby, what are they doing? Which does bring us to this Team of the Week....

Sergio Dippsh*ts

 During the last post I related Sergio to Certified "G" and how they are both poverty stricken teams. I stand by it this week, and for the rest of the season. 

Now, they have had a little misfortune his season. They had two good running backs - Gordon and Cook - but they lost Cook to injury and have been struggling ever since. Gordon is the stud of this team. If he doesn't have a good week, Sergio could find it difficult to break 90!

I also can not get behind a team who starts a Jets wide receiver. Robby Anderson may very well be the number one receiver for the Jets (although many would argue it is Kearse) - I refuse to admit that there is not a better option.

Jimmy Graham at tight end is not bad, if Seattle's offensive line can keep Wilson upright. However, it has not happened often this season and Jimmy Graham is struggling. 

Latavius Murray is the current flex option, and I........ hate it! Ever since Cook went down with his injury the Vikings run game has been suspect at best. One week McKinnon led the attack and next it was Murray. It is similar to the New England backfield. You never know who is going to have he big week.

Bench wise, there are options - but hey have under performed thus far this season. A bevy of wide outs and two kickers. Yes, two kickers!!! Which means he picked up a kicker and decided to drop a different player other than his original kicker. How bad do you have to be for that to happen?!?

Team of the Week is Sergio Dippsh*ts - but who wouldn't want to play them?

Sergio Dippsh*ts v Waco Kids

This is the Week that Todd Gurley is on the bye. Which means Waco Kids is starting Amber Abdullah, not a bad replacement - but definitely not Gurley! Sergio has to win when he is the TotW right?

Prediction: Sergio Dippsh*ts win - no Gurley is no bueno 

Team Price is a Dick v Sagging TDs

TPIAD has their defense on a bye week and no defense on their bench. Sagging has three players on a bye week and they might not make the change this week. Based solely on that fact....

Prediction: Team Price is a Dick gets the win

Juan Fatt Bidge v John Robles

My predictions competitor is a big John Robles fan, like very big. Like you might find them in bed together big. He has picked them every week. Let's hope he stay with that trend.... 'cuz I am taking Juan Fatt Bidge!!

Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge win

Dakster's Lab v Hoosier Daddy

One team is trending up - very quickly. One team was referred to as the ugly girl in the bar. Which way do you think I am leaning?

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy win

Aaron Rodgers is Gay v BringBack Harbs

ARIG is going to start feeling the loss of Mike Evans this week. After big week last week, ARIG is going to come crashing down to earth. Good week for BringBack Harbs, but it won't matter, ARIG is going to be in the bottom three scores this week!

Prediction: BringBack Harbs win

Prible is my bitch v Certified "G"

If ARIG is going to be bottom three, Certified is going to be the worst. There is just not that much positive on that side of the matchup. Sorry buddy, but there is always one football coach that is just awful at fantasy football - this year it is you!!

Prediction: Prible is my bitch win

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones v Mizuno Blue

A good matchup between two winning teams. The Swindler has put together a good squad and has a terrific tandem at wide receiver. However, J-Bones is a big play team and they had some big plays happen last week and they will have some big plays happen this week.

Prediction: The J-Bones win

Once again, I apologize for the shortness of this post, but I am in Florida and I am laying by a beach. No excuse, but hey my wife is sexy as hell and I can't focus right now!

Mwah

Week 7 Results

Disclaimer: This post was written on my iPad and thus it was more difficult to get the screenshots and there are more than usual typos.

It is about time the pendulum swings the other. About friggin' time. There were plenty of great match-ups this week. Lots of points were scored - multiple teams scored over 100 points this week (8) and two teams scored in the 90's. There a few players that had big weeks: Amari Cooper, Ezekiel Elliott, Dak Prescott, Bears Def., LeSean McCoy.

The plus side of the big week explosion is that every player named was on a different team. Which results in more points all around the league. In previous weeks, we have had explosions take place on the same teams - which creates less diversification of points - number one rule in investing is to diversify!

Which brings us to our results...

Juan Fatt Bidge (2-5) 92.6

Sagging TD's (4-3) 86.5

First, can we all please take note of the beautiful belly in JFB's picture? Seriously, SEX-AYE!!

Remember, that pendulum? It is about time some luck swung the other way. JFB would have only beaten 4 teams this week, just so happens they were playing one of those four! 

It is incredibly clear that after the big trade that was made JFB will be reliant upon the running back to carry the load. This week, they did! McCoy and Bell scored 27.2 and 22.2 points respectively. With a combined total of 49.4 points (almost beating one other team) - JFB only needed score 37 more points from the rest of the team. However, with only one other player breaking double digits and their kicker scoring negative one, it was much closer than it should have been.

On the flip side, it was big struggle for Sagging TD's throughout the lineup. No player managed to break 20 points, and their defense scored the third highest points with 15 points. It is not necessarily a bad thing if your defenses is in your top three points, however when you only score 86 points - it is probably not a good sign!

As luck would have it....

Result: Juan Fatt Bidge wins

Prediction: Juan Fatt Bidge wins - RIGHT

Team Price is a Dick (4-3) 111.2

Prible is my bitch (3-4) 138.2

What a great matchup we had this week, so good that is forced a team name change. Prible is my bitch, formerly known as I Miss Tyler, featured the 2nd highest scoring player this week - Ezekiel Elliott. It would a shame if he is unable to play the entire season!

While this was a great matchup in the starting lineups, the bench players were just as fascinating. Baldwin scored some big points for TPIAD, he would have led all receivers. Somehow, Cook would have out scored Walker - who has not played to his potential thanks to an injured Mariota.

For PISMB, Aaron Jones would have been the 2nd highest scoring running back in the entire matchup, too bad he was one the bench. However, I can't ignore the Elliott and Wentz show. Elliot showed up, and in a huge way! Wentz, the closer - cam through and scored the big points when needed. On Monday night, the Redskins looked like they were in control, but Wentz eventually realized he playing a division rival and decided to start playing!

Result: Prible is my bitch (I Miss Tyler) wins

Prediction: TPIAD wins - WRONG

The J-Bones (4-3) 131.9

Waco Kids (4-3) 117.9

A very unfortunate matchup for Waco Kids. The J-Bones are the mostminconsisten team in this league. One week they will score 75 points and the next week they will score 130 points. This week? 131.9.

This matchup was pretty much over after the Thursday night game. Cooper finally woke up from his 6 week coma and boy did he wake up in a big way. Cooper scored 44 points in a tremendous Thursday Night Game! Hill scored 25 points and he did put

 up the peace sign (due to this entry being written on an iPad, there will be no video). Talk a good way to start the week, nearly 70 points from just two players.

Although Waco Kids did still manage to have a decent week. Nearly every player did what they were supposed to do, except Cobb - seriously have to do something about those receivers! Although there was really nothing you could do in this one!

Result: The J-Bones win

Prediction: Waco Kids wins... WRONG

Hoosier Daddy (3-4) 118

Certified"G" (2-5) 55.1

When the pendulum swings, boy does it swing fast. Hoosier Daddy, this might as well be your bye week - except with this bye week, you get a win!

Certified "G" was the team of the week and it is never good to be the team of the week when your kicker is your leading scorer. As stated for this poverty driven team, if "Daddy Gronk" doesn't go to work - this team will struggle. Certified "G" news holds two of the top 3 lowest point totals. Points are scarce in this household!

It was a decently, consistent week for Hoosier Daddy. Only his quarterback scored more than 20 points, but everyone else was right where they needed to be. With no big point explosions, but a consistent lineup - Hoosier Daddy secured the win against this poverty stricken team. 

Certified "G" I am going to ask you politely to change your name to Ruby Payne!

Result: Hoosier Daddy wins

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins... RIGHT

Aaron Rodgers is Gay (3-4) 136.7

Dakster's Lab (5-2) 98.4

Remember when ARIG traded away Mike Evans and everyone thought it was a mistake? Remember when ARIG was struggling to break 100 points? Not any more!

It did help that ARIG had the Bears defense, which scored 29 points in a game that only featured defensive touchdowns. Not to mention the big change in running backs: Allen and White. Both these players were acquired in the trade and both these players performed well!

Dak has been living on the edge and he finally got caught! Failing to break 100 points will give Dak a season total of -30 points in points for versus points against - yet somehow Dak is still leading his division. Remarkable!

Result: ARIGwins

Prediction: Dakster's Lab wins...WRONG, should not have change my pick!!

BringBack Harbs (5-2) 110.7

Sergio Dippsh*ts (2-5) 83.5

What really pains me is when a team wins with a player playing on their team that is on a bye, even if it is just their defense!

That can happen when you play the 2nd worst team in the league, Sergio Dippsh*ts! If Melvin Gordon doesn't score big, this team will struggle. This team is very similar to the team of the week: poverty stricken. You have a very low chance of winning if your quarterback is only going to score .6 points. 

I just want to know what BringBack Harbs is going to do with Lynch? He hasn't been performing very well and now he is suspended? Is he headed for the waiver wire?

Result: BringBack Harbs wins

Prediction: BringBack Harbs wins... RIGHT

Matchup of the Week

Mizuno Blue (5-2) 108.6

John Robles (3-4) 82.5

First, congrats to Mizuno Blue - not for winning the matchup, but for winning the bet. He won a dollar because of Austin Sefarian-Jenkins beating Austin Hooper. Is ASJ really that good?

He has been fairly consistent the past few weeks, posting double digits the past three weeks. However, we all know what really happened to this team - it run by "The Swindler." This week's new addition, Mike Evans. We are talking top tier wide receiver, Mike Evans. We are talking about the same Mike Evans who plays for Tampa Bay - a team who is going to throw the ball. Mike Evans is a stud, scoring over 20 points each week from here on out would not surprise me!

This week fell apart very early for John Robles. With the news that Fournette was ruled out, John Robles was scrambling for points. Those will be hard to come by when your receivers were on teams that each did not score touchdown and the two teams combined for 12 points. Without Brady scoring his usual 30 points and no Forunette, it was a rough week for John Robles!

Result: Mizuno Blue wins

Prediction: John Robles wins....WRONG

This week: 3-4

Season: 25-24

Competitor: 3-4

Competitor Season: 23-26

Mwah

Week 7 Correction

Okay, okay - so we had to know something like this was going to take place....

I make my predictions, solely based upon one player - and then that player gets traded. Now, because of the way this league works - which is very close to the perfect way - it matters for the predictions. Sooooo, my opponent (when it comes to predictions) and I agreed that if there is a trade or if someone in our league purposely tries to throw a matchup then we can switch out pick.

Thus, a big trade has happened....

Mizuno Blue traded:
James White
"Buck" Allen
DeVante Parker
Golden Tate

Aaron Rodgers is Gay traded:
Frank Gore
Mike Evans
Jared Goff
LeGarrette Blount

The problem is that I had picked Aaron Rodgers is Gay to pull off the upset, solely because Evans was going to have a big game. I promise - you can go back and look at the previous post. So, as soon I see the trade was made - I sent him a text and let him know that I would like to switch my pick.

Here is the new matchup....

Originally, I had said that ARIG would pull-off the upset because of big play from the receivers. Without Mike Evans, this is not going to happen. Mike Evans is one of those players that have the capability to score 30 points in a given week. Now, his lineup is a little more consistent - especially his running backs. However, in order to pull-off an upset he would need to have someone go out and score 25-30 points. Mike Evans was that guy - Mizuno Blue is hoping he will be that guy! Nonetheless, my pick has changed.....

Predicti-un: Dakster's Lab wins.... the trade may work in the long run, but not this week!!

Also, can we just quickly bring up how amazing last night's game was? You have the Chiefs v Raiders and boy, oh boy, did the stars come out to play!

If I were to have you list the players that have a fantasy impact and played last night, who would you say?

Amari Cooper

Travis Kelce

Kareem Hunt

Michael Crabtree

Derek Carr
Alex Smith
Marshawn Lynch
Tyreek Hill


Every single one of these players had an impact on the game - it was literally a fantasy slugfest. Let's start from the bottom and work our way up....

Marshawn Lynch - .9 points

Now, it may look like he did not have much of an impact on the game - however, Lynch had a tremendous impact! Lynch, being the academic scholar that he is, decided that it would be a smart idea to run onto the field and push a ref. Yes, that is correct - run onto the field. Meaning, he was not even in the current play. Moron!!

Michael Crabtree - 11.4 points

Imagine this, Crabtree has done nothing all game - only to catch the game winning touchdown. Not only that, but this was the 3rd play ran with no time left on the clock. There were two defensive penalties called on the previous plays to extend the game. Crabtree should be thanking the refs for giving him a chance to actually contribute - they extremely "ticky-tack" calls and it looked like the refs had already made up their minds that Oakland was going to win this game. Nonetheless, the 2nd lowest scoring guy is someone who scored a touchdown - think about that! Crabtree had a touchdown catch and was still 2nd from the bottom!

Travis Kelce - 13.3 points

Kelce had a good week - 4 catches, 33 yards, and a touchdown. When you are a tight end and you bring in a touchdown - you have done your job. I mean, if you can get 13 points from every position you are winning most of your match-ups.

Kareem Hunt - 15.7 points

Not a bad night for Hunt. Yes, it is not an explosion - but he still put up good numbers. He had 4 catches and 87 yards rushing. The only thing he was missing was finding pay dirt. But, think about this... Hunt never scored a touchdown and still outscored two guys that did score a touchdown. If this is an "off night" for Hunt  - you gotta like what you see!!

Tyreek Hill - 25.2 points

Seriously, did I call it or did I call it? Big play or bust - and this week it was a big play! Not only that but he did chuck up the deuces. Seriously, it has to be my favorite celebration of a touchdown. The play? A 64 yard touchdown pass. I am fairly positive that Smith just throws the ball as far as he can and knows that he will never overthrow Hill!

Alex Smith - 25.7 points

342 yards and 3 touchdowns is not a bad night for anyone. In fact, he will probably end up finishing in the top 3 quarterbacks for this week - and he wasn't even the best in this game!

Derek Carr - 30.2 points

Derek Carr put on for his city! Remember the whole scare about his fractured back? Yeah, don't be worried anymore - the Raiders at one point ran a quarterback run! Carr finished with 417 yards and 3 touchdowns. I see you Carr - I might want you to play on a fractured back more often.

Amari Cooper - 44 points

7.3, 1.6, 2.9, 1.8, 7.8 - what are these numbers? The amount of points he has scored in the previous 5 weeks. If you add all 5 weeks together, he doesn't even score half of what he scored last night! 210 yards. 2 touchdowns. 11 receptions. Yeah, not a bad night. Just imagine our league actually included bonuses?!? Cooper just had a career night - what a bad time to be facing him!!

What a good Thursday night game! When the stars come out to play it is always a good time - the only thing that is slightly depressing about last night - I saw commercial for next week's game. Dolphins and Ravens. Seriously, what a terrible matchup! I will be trying to pick up the defenses for that game!

Mwah

Week 7 Predicti-uns

Can we please all just take a moment of silence for Gordon Hayward's ankle....

Okay, that is long enough. 

First, let me just say that the video of his ankle is gruesome. You can quickly search it on YouTube, or just look at this....

I mean just gnarly looking. When I watched it and heard the announcer emphatically announce that "Gordon Hayward has broken his leg. Gordon Hayward has broken his leg" I couldn't look away. It is similar to a female who is so ugly they are attractive. The french have a phrase for this phenomenon, "jolie laid." It represents a woman who is attractive despite having ugly features. Essentially, you can't stop looking at her and there is something that continues to hold your attention. The Gordon Hayward injury is that same way for me. I can't stop looking at it.

Do I feel bad for the guy? Of course, but only for a couple seconds. After that, I come back to reality and realize he is still making millions upon millions of dollars. Earlier this morning a couple students came into my room and we started talking about the injury. It sucks for Hayward, but would I switch careers with him? In a heartbeat. In fact, I will still teach. Just pay me the same salary and I will break my ankle. Would it hurt and be unbearable? Probably. Would it be worth 128 million over the course of 4 years? Hell yes. 

Now, in terms of fantasy football this injury does nothing to anyone's team - it is the NBA after all. However, it does give reminder that anyone's season can end within a matter of seconds.

Aaron Rodgers, David Johnson, Odell Beckham Jr., Julian Edelman, Greg Olsen, Tyler Eifert, Brandon Marshall, Allen Robinson, Dalvin Cook, and the list goes on. These are just big name offensive players - but there are plenty of other starters, defensive, and key backups on the list. Injuries can change everything - especially if you were very reliant upon that player on your fantasy team. 

I really hope Richard Sherman isn't reading this, he would think that I am objectifying these players. Which I am. But you tell me why I should care about their broken leg and send them a letter of sympathy; they don't even know I exist! The only to relate to these players is through fantasy football. Given, I will never tweet at them and complain about how they messed up my fantasy season - but honestly, I could not care less if they break a leg. They will be fine in a couple months and go back to making hundreds of thousands of dollars (if not millions). I would gladly break one of my limbs once a year to make a couple million a year - but then again I am just a teacher making a salary just above the poverty line.

Which does bring me to my...

Team of the Week: Certified "G"

Certified "G" is the team that has the dad that goes to work - but every so often they get hurt and start collecting disability. However, disability is not enough to put food on the table. Without daddy's paycheck, Certified "G" is not going to win. 

Gronk is daddy.

There are lots of little kids running around the house. Every so often they find a way to make money and help out - but it is never a nice steady paycheck. One week one child will help out and the next week they will disappear. 

Cohen, Mixon, Gallman - all rookies, are the kids.

If Gronk is daddy, Nelson is mommy. Nelson tries to work hard and tries to put up points, and has done well. However, what is going to happen now? Without Rodgers throwing to him, will mommy still be able to provide? 

As with most underprivileged families - you always have extended families staying in the house. Grandpappy Palmer is probably the most consistent person in the "house." He is always talking about when he was the father of the house and how he walked 15 miles, up hill both ways to work. When the young kids tell grandpa he is lying - there is nothing else to do other than prove that the old man still has it. Palmer is still putting work and scoring points. The biggest question, how long can the senior citizen last?

There is great group of looters that are living off this family and anything they have. They never really help out - instead they just scavenge the scraps that are left over. Crowder, Kelley, Kearse, and Rawls are all the next door neighbors that looking for a hand-out. These players are too inconsistent and have not performed up to par. Yet, somehow they still find a way to hang around and stay on the team.

Certified "G" (our team of the week) is also our family that needs help. If daddy doesn't go to work, good luck!

On to the predictions...

Sagging TD's (4-2)

Juan Fatt Bidge (1-5)

Well, here we are again. This is the point in the season where I simply continue the trend of picking the same team to win only to watch them lose. If you haven't caught on, I am going to be picking Juan Fatt Bidge.

It is incredibly hard to argue against a team that is starting Bell and McCoy at running back. Some teams struggle to have one top running back in their starting lineup - JFB has two studs starting at running back. On the flip side, I have to imagine that Ivory is not going to be putting up the same number he did last week. Plus, Newton will be throwing to McCaffrey and company. I wouldn't mind a decent game from McCaffrey, as long as Newton has a nice game as well. 

The crazy part about a team having Bell and McCoy is that you would assume their receivers are garbage. Honestly, Hilton and Garcon are not bad. Both are supposedly the number 1 receiver on teams that will need to throw the ball to stay in the game. Here's hoping to more than one catch this week for T.Y.! Brown is obviously the guy in the receiving department. He should outperform all receivers in this matchup.

In most cases the tight end matchup will be a toss-up. Henry v Bennett falls into that category. The same goes for most defense and kicker match-ups.

Predicti-un: Juan Fatt Bidge wins.... I am going to stop predicting points - it is nearly impossible to guess and it is throwing some people off.

Team Price is a Dick (4-2)

I Miss Tyler (2-4)

So this matchup is incredibly lopsided. But not quite as lopsided as it appears...

I Miss Tyler has Elliott on the bench and after yesterday's court decision - I am sure he will be entering the starting lineup. Elliott and Forte could be a decent tandem - but the running back department really comes down to whether or not Peterson is the same Peterson we saw last week. He looked like the AP of old days - I am talking about the days when he was hosting orgies and whipping kids. 

The receiving department is TPIAD will be dominate against most teams. There is just too much depth for TPIAD - Bryant, Fitzy (how is this old man still dominate??), Thomas. Not to mention, Agholor and Baldwin on the bench. On any given week TPIAD will be able to have his pick among 5 top receivers - find the matchup you like and throw 'em in the lineup.

The tight end matchup is interesting. Walker is just now entering his easy portion of the schedule - but still did not score points against Indy's defense. Engram is now one of the top receiving threats in New York - thanks to injuries. Coin flip here.

Still, I just can't go against the receivers that TPIAD have. Too many chances for players to go off for 25+ points. Miss Tyler better hope that Elliott plays and plays with an anger. Maybe he wants to stick it to the NFL and Goodell?

Predicti-un: Team Price is a Dick wins.... that is ironic considering this matchup

The J-Bones (3-3)

Waco Kids (4-2)

This matchup made a strong case for the matchup of the week. However, The J-Bones have not performed up the level of excellence we expect in the matchup of the week and thus they will on the outside looking in.

That is not to say that is not a great matchup - because it most definitely is! Gurley and Ajayi are two great running backs. It is a shame there is no bonus for rushing yards - because nobody sees Ajayi catching any passes! He may run for 110 yards and get his 11 points, good for him! Freeman and Montgomery are both top running backs that are fighting to prove that they are the lead back in their timeshare. Time to prove it boys!

Donte Moncrief. Thanks for screwing me last week! Be careful of that guy J-Bones. Thielen is probably the best receiver in this group. Can you imagine if three years ago I had told you that Adam Thielen was going to be a top 15 wide receiver in fantasy football what your reaction would be? I have said it before and I will say it again; Tyreek Hill is a big play or bust kind of receiver. But, man do I love watching him play!!

Waco Kids is the only team that starts a tight end at the flex position - and why not?!? When you have Kelce and Witten, you should start two tight ends! Both players would be in the top 30 if they were receivers. Witten is only that low because he has already had his bye week, Kelce would be in the top 10.

Predicti-un: Waco Kids wins... thanks to Witten and Kelce

Hoosier Daddy (2-4)

Certified "G" (2-4)

I think that Certified "G" is this leagues roller coaster team and Hoosier Daddy is the most consistent team. Think about,

Week 1: Certified "G" looked terrible, like Handy Rudgins terrible

Week 2: Certified "G" improves by nearly 40 points and gets the win

Week 3: Certified "G" reaches the peak of their performances and wins by 30+ points

Week 4: Certified "G" fails to break a hundred is on their way back down that first roller coaster hill

Week 5: Certified "G" fails to break 85 and is plummeting quickly

Week 6: Certified "G" is heading back up that 2nd roller coaster hill and loses scoring 117

Week 7? Certified "G" finds out that that maybe the roller coaster was not finished and flies off the track

On the flip side, Hoosier Daddy has consistently scored points and somehow found a way to lose. Hoosier leads the league is points scored and some how is 2 games under .500 - unbelievable. I am going to put the league on notice right now - Hoosier Daddy is going to make the playoffs and will pull-off and upset in terms of seeding.

Predicti-un: Hoosier Daddy wins.... let's just hope Certified does something about his starting lineup

Dakster's Lab (5-1)

Aaron Rodger's is Gay (2-4)

If ARIG wants to win this matchup - Evans, Jeffrey, and Crabtree need to have a great week.

Prescott has a great matchup against 49ers defense and Goff goes against the Cardinals defense - not in his favor!

Gillislee looks incredibly bad - my how the mighty have fallen since week 1. We all remember that week 1 outburst of 3 touchdowns for Gillislee, right? Yeah, that is not happening anymore. Howard and Thompson are clearly the best running backs in this matchup.

As I stated earlier - Evans, Jeffrey, and Crabtree are the key to this matchup. I am going to do it, I am going to out on a limb....

Predicti-un: Aaron Rodgers is Gay wins... come on receivers

BringBack Harbs (4-2)

Sergio Dippsh*ts (2-4)

This is a matchup of studs and duds. Essentially, it is Julio Jones v Melvin Gordon.

Wilson and Roethlisberger each have a decent matchup - although Wilson's offensive line is so bad, any defense is not a good matchup for Wilson.

Lynch and Coleman will struggle this week. Mark it down. Gordon is going to score 30 points again. Mark it down.

Julio Jones needs to have a decent week. He has struggled and not put up the big numbers we are used to seeing. The Law of Averages states that eventually he will have his big week, BringBack Harbs is hoping this is that week. At least he has Ertz, who is currently the number 1 tight end!

Predicti-un: BringBack Harbs wins... complete coin flip

Matchup of the Week

Mizuno Blue (4-2)

John Robles (3-3)

I can not believe that Mizuno Blue has a winning record. Not that his team is bad, but more about the amount of injuries that this team had in the beginning of the season.

Mizuno's starting lineup consists of 4 players that were acquired via trade: White, Allen, Landry, Pryor. These are the main point scorers for this team. One the flip side, John Robles has steadfast and not made a single trade this entire season.

Fournette and Ingram both have the ability to have huge games - as shown throughout the season. The question is: Can Fournette and Ingram beat Landry and Pryor? Most of Mizen's players are there because they catch passes - even the running backs. Matthews and Funchess are players that I have talked down the entire season and yet somehow they continue to score points. Matthews is ranked 28th and Funchess is ranked 20th. Never would I have guessed these two are ranked that high this late in the season. 

I will say it: Hooper will outscore Seferian-Jenkins. That is what the difference in this matchup is going to be. Do you hear me Mizuno Blue? Seferian-Jenkins is going to lose this matchup for you!!

Predicti-un: John Robles wins... you can ASJ for the loss!!

There you have it gentleman - if you want to scroll back up and take a quick look at Hayward's ankle again - be my guest!!

Mwah