Week 2 Results

Extra, Extra, Read all about it! Hoosier Daddy has 2nd highest points in the league and is still 0-2!!

Yes, it is true and unfathomable. Hoosier Daddy has scored the 2nd most points in our fantasy league and is still 0-2. Even more unbelievable? He has done with virtually nothing from his first round pick - Odell Beckham Jr. Does this guy know fantasy football or does this guy know fantasy football?

On the flip side, Sergio Dippsh*ts has score the fewest points - nearly 100 points less than Hoosier Daddy and he is 1-1 (and he very possibly could have won in week 2 and been 2-0). Fantasy Football - it is a motherfu*ker.

Take it to the stats...

Juan Fatt Bidge 88.9 
Aaron Rodgers IS GAY 125.6

ARIG is now 2-0 and looking strong for the playoffs. They have strong play from their receivers and as long as they continue to get consistent points from Gillislee ARIG will be a team that you do not want to face. To think, this whole time ARIG has been waiting for A. Luck to come back and he will have a complete team - but then again, is A. Luck going to be that good???

JFB - is on the wrong side of tough competition. They have the 2nd highest points against - playing 2nd highest scorer each week. You are not going to win games doing that! He is getting pretty consistent play from most of his players - he is just not getting that big game from someone to help put him over the top. At 0-2, you can not panic - but you do need to do something to get the ship turned around!

Prediction: JFB beats ARIG by 15 - WRONG!!

Hoosier Daddy 128.1
The J-Bones 134.1

This is the rough one. Hoosier Daddy has a great team - big play makers (Hunt and Sanders) and consistent scorers (Cousins and Hopkins). I have picked him to win every week and I beginning to think that might be the reason for the bad luck. Sorry buddy, I am going to keep picking you - I mean like I said you have outscored everybody in this league...

Except for J-Bones. The exact words from J-Bones owner after the draft, "I hate my team" and "My team sucks." This is the same guy who didn't know half the players being drafted in the middle of the 3rd round. Yet, here he is at the top of the league 2-0 and the most points scored by any team. How has he done it? Touchdowns and big plays. Outside of quarterbacks J-Bones has 11 touchdowns while the rest of the league averages 6 touchdowns. Unreal. Good for you. We all are happy for you.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy beat J-Bones by 7 - WRONG!!

Team Price is a D*ck 90.5
Dakster's Lab 94.2

Can I just say this: You let me down Riddick, you really let me down! Now, I have go back to that bar that Dakster was sitting at and look again and really see if she is an 8 or if she really is someone to avoid. You know that crazy thing about those girls at bars - as the night goes on, she begins to look better and better. Hey Dakster, you still don't look that sexy! You haven't even broken 200 points scored and you are 2-0. Someone will definitely leave that bar with you - but it is for sure not me!

Team P is a D, can I just say this: Riddick let you down, he really let you down! You have a decent consistent team, no really big playmakers - but good solid volume. I think you can make a push for the playoffs with Dez and Le'veon as your foundation. But until that push happens, you can join me in the winless corner as we watch Dakster dance with guys that are way, way out of his league!

Prediction: Price is a D beats Dakster by 15 - WRONG!!

Mizuno Blue 102
BringBack Harbs 101.6

This my friends, this is why you have fractional scoring. Without fractional scoring, this match-up is a tie and we all get to hear about Mizuno Blue complaining. Instead, we all wait for a stat change to help out BringBack Harbs! But seriously, one of the most impressive wins considering all the factors. Mizuno Blue has lost 3 of his first 4 picks from the draft. He did manage a good trade and that helped him tremendously - but even then, any team losing 3 of their first 4 picks and still going 2-0 deserves some kind of credit.

What can I say Harbs? I really thought you had this one. I would blame everything not he Giants and their pathetic offense. Honestly, mainly their receivers who dropped at least 5 or 6 catches that I could have made. Nonetheless, you have a good starting lineup and I think if you can consistently redzone touches for Lynch - you should be fine in the long run. Hey man, 1-1 is better than 0-2!!

Prediction: Harbs beats Mizuno by 15 - WRONG!!

Sagging TD's 92.2
Sergio Dippsh*ts 78.4

Sagging TD's - you are 2-0! The team that was voted last in our DDA (read the first or second post for understanding of this) is 2-0. Yes, you played the lowest scoring team this week and would have lost to half the teams in the league this year - but, you only have to beat the team you are facing! I said before and I will say it again - I do not trust your running backs. They will be your downfall.

Sergio - what else is there to say? You are 1-1 and everyone knows (even you) you should 0-2. But like I said early, you only have to beat the teams you are facing! Nothing speaks more true, than this team. Sergio has the lowest point total and somehow managed to get a win (and it very possibly could have been two). Good for you. Good luck in the next couple weeks!

Prediction: Sergio beats Sagging by 10 - WRONG!!

I Miss Tyler 88.2
Waco Kids 132.6

Miss Tyler - you interested in trading Elliott? I mean his effort is just not there right now. If I were you I would trade him to JFB for a solid defense and maybe ask for a kicker as well. By the way, this is a formal offer. Seriously though, I thought this team would be much better. Who would have thought that a team featuring Elliott, A.J. Green, and Martavis Bryant would struggle to reach the endzone? Unbelievable. Seriously though - think about that trade!!

Waco Kids, in my opinion, is one of the biggest surprises of the league. Waco lost a close one in week 1 and then comes out a puts up a big score in week 2. 1-1 is not bad, but this team could easily be 2-0. And to think, he has Big Hittin' Witten on his bench - who scored a measly 25 points this past week. Gurley is returning back to form - I have sent countless trade offers, but to no avail. I can't blame him, Gurley looks like a top 5 back and in a 14 team league with a flex position - you just can't give that up!

Prediction: Miss Tyler beats Waco by 15 - WRONG!!

John Robles 82.5
Certified "G" 101.3

John Robles, John Robles, John Robles. I just like typing that name, because I think it is funny. Great team name, sh*tty team. The only reason why this team scored 80+ is because Brady put up 30 points. All. By. His. Lonesome. That means the rest of this team scored 50 points. Iy yi yi, that is not good! John Robles, I am just saying - time to make some trades or search the waiver wire!!

Certified "G" - this weeks turn around award. Certified was far and away the worst team last week. He goes out and gets whoever he wants on the waiver wire! Lucky for him, Gronk and Carr showed and he didn't really need his waiver wire pickup - Cohen - who didn't do anything spectacular. If Gronk can stay healthy, than this team is trending upwards. This team will go as far as Gronk can carry them!

Prediction: Certified beats Robles by 2 - Hey, I got one RIGHT!!

Well, I went an amazing 1-6 this week. My mystery opponent went 4-3. This is looking about as good as John Robles team right now - and that is pretty sh*tty!

Mwah

6-8
8-6